


minhyuk protection squad™ (probably should have made one for changkyun too)

by TheLastOfTheRealOnes



Category: GOT7, Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chatting & Messaging, Here we go, M/M, Multi, Random Updates, Texting, basically a chatfic full of chaotic gay moments, i added monsta x, i have no updating schedule, im tired af, it just got a lil angsty, it wont stay angsty forever i promise, let's do this, monsta x is a big gay mess, uwu, very much big gayness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-02-29 10:34:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 14,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastOfTheRealOnes/pseuds/TheLastOfTheRealOnes
Summary: the BTS/GOT7/MONSTA X chatfic that no one asked for*new title*





	1. Chapter 1

[V has created a group chat!]

  
[V has added RM, Eomma, Seagull, Suga, Mochi, and J-Hope!]

  
[V has named the group chat BTS!]

  
V: herro  
  
Seagull: why is that my nickname?  
  
V: bc  
Suga: why did you create this?  
  
Mochi: ^  
  
Eomma: Why is THAT my nickname??  
  
RM: tae.... explain please  
  
V: ok, ok!  
  
V: So... 1. Because you mispronounced Beiber that one time we were listening to songs at a party 2. Because I'm lonely 3. Because you're the eomma of our group. Happy?  
  
Seagull: yeah, ig  
  
Mochi: ^  
  
Suga: ^  
  
Eomma: :^  
  
RM: ^  
  
J-Hope: what is happening?

  
  
(GOT7)

  
[JB has created a group chat!]

  
[JB has added Eomma, sunshine, Bambam, EaSy, Markipoo, and Jackipoo to the group chat!]

  
[JB has named the group chat GOT7!]

  
sunshine: helloooooooo everyoneee  
  
Bambam: Hyung, who are these people??  
  
Markipoo: why the duck is that my name?  
  
Jackipoo: MARKIPOO WE MATCH. AND YOU NEED TO ADD CURSE WORDS INTO YOUR AUTOCORRECT  
  
Markipoo: We don't know if there are children here Jackson.  
  
JB: ok ok, here is everyone  
  
sunshine: Youngjae, adorable, my boyfriend #1  
Eomma: Jinyoung, scary but beautiful, my boyfriend #2  
Bambam: Kunpimook, a little strange, some1 I met at college  
EaSy: Yugyeom, evil, Youngjae's bff  
Markipoo: Mark, american, jackson's bf  
Jackipoo: Jackson, chinese, my co-worker, mark's bf  
  
There.  
  
Markipoo: Why is my description "american" and "jackson's bf"?  
  
Jackipoo: YEAH WHY IS MINE JUST, "CHINESE" AND "MY CO-WORKER"?  
  
JB: because  
  
Eomma: ....  
  
Eomma: Jaebum why is my name "Eomma"?  
  
sunshine: bc you're like our eomma jinyoungie-hyung!  
  
JB: Yep.  
  
Eomma: ...  
  
Eomma: Be lucky Youngjae is here  
  
sunshine: O.o don't fight!  
  
Jackipoo: MARK THEY'RE FIGHTING LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE AGAIN HELP ME GET AWAY FROM ALL OF THE CRINGE  
  
Markipoo: you act the same way don't lie. and turn off your caps lock  
  
Jackipoo: Oh, it was on again dammit  
  
sunshine: O.o  
  
Eomma: Language!  
  
Jackipoo: OH, shit sorry!  
  
Jackipoo: Oh my fucking god I am so sorry!  
  
Jackipoo: Dammit I am-  
  
Jackipoo: I will just stop there.  
  
JB: good idea Jingyoung is glaring at his phoen screen  
  
Markipoo: Jackson is hiding beneath our bed  
  
Jackipoo: AM NOT  
  
EaSy: what. the. fuck.  
  
sunshine: > . >

Eomma: Youngjae mute the chat and wait until bummie says you can un-mute it. And don't scroll up.

sunshine: O.O okay

 

[sunshine has muted the chat!]

 

Eomma: i am going to murder both of you, and neither of you will see the light of day. Youngjae is an innocent child, and doesn't

need to be defiled by you.

Bambam: Only by you and JB i presume? :)

[EaSy has changed his name to Evil Maknae!]

Evil Maknae: :))))) i bet he screams your names all night long

 

[Eomma has changed Evil Maknae's name to unloved!]

 

[Eomma has changed Bambam's name to also unloved!]

 

[sunshine has un-muted the chat!]

 

sunshine: what did i miss????

JB: Nothing baby

sunshine: >///< hyunnnng

Eomma: :) <3

unloved: T^T 

also unloved: ^

sunshine: *gasp*

 

[sunshine has changed unloved's name to loved by youngjae!]

 

[sunshine has changed also unloved's name to loved by youngjae too!]

 

loved by youngjae: :D

also loved by youngjae: tysm

sunshine: ^W^

Jackipoo: he's too pure for this world. smh


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehehe more chaos ensues
> 
> and this is mostly to focus on the "innocent" members of the groups to build up their relationship (kind of???), because i got something planned for that in a later chapter lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names!
> 
> Jooniper: Namjoon  
> le'jin'dary: Jin  
> hella thicc: Jimin  
> a to the g to the u to the s-t-d: Yoongi  
> jdope: Hoseok  
> taeger: Taehyung  
> jungshook: Jungkook

JB: Guys. I have smth to say.

 

Eomma: what?

 

sunshine: ^^

 

JB: i want to add some friends into this. 

 

Markipoo: why?

 

Jackipoo: y'all're boring, duh

 

JB: actually, yes

 

Jackipoo: really?

 

jB: Kay, 'm not asking for permission, just wanted to tell you so bye now

 

[JB has added Jooniper, le'jin'dary, hella thicc, a to the g to the u to the s-t-d, jdope, taeger, and jungshook!]

 

Jooniper: jaebum, wtf?

 

le'jin'dary: ahh yeahhhh

 

jungshook: god, please no, hyung

 

taeger: rawr uwu

 

hella thicc: ...

 

j-dope: >:)

 

a to the g to the u to the s-t-d: can i get a shorter name?

 

JB: yeah sure

 

[JB has changed a to the g to the u to the s-t-d's name to fuckboy]

 

fuckboy: thanks

 

JB: no problem

 

Eomma: wow. real mature jaebum.

 

sunshine: hyung! that's a bad word!

 

loved by youngjae: I bet you scream bad words all night long jae :))

 

sunshine: what? why?

 

[also loved by youngjae has changed sunshine's name to thot!]

 

thot: :C hey! I don't want that to be my name!

 

also loved by youngjae: so you admit to knowing what it means?

 

thot: i never said that

 

[thot has changed also loved by youngjae to also hated by youngjae!}

[thot has changed loved by youngjae's name to hated by youngjae!]

 

hated by youngjae: :C

also hated by youngjae: ^

le'jin'dary: wow.

taeger: oof

jungshook: y'all got owned

hella thicc: :C i feel bad for them

jdope: ^^

 

[jdope has changed hated by youngjae's name to loved by hoseok!]

[hella thick has changed also hated by youngjae's name to loved by jimin!]

 

loved by jimin: idk who you are, but thanks bro

 

loved by hoseok: same. also, what's the gay percentage in here?

  

JB: gay

Markipoo: gay 

 

Eomma: gay

 

thot: gay

 

loved by jimin: gay

 

loved by hoseok: gay

 

Jooniper: straight

 

le'jin'dary: gay, wtf do u mean straight, namjoon?

 

Jooniper: im straigth though??/

 

fuckboy: you cant even type

 

taeger: straight lololol

 

jungshook: straight

 

taeger: jungkook! I SAW YOU DOING YOU-KNOW-WHAT WITH JIMIN, DON"T PULL THAT SHIT

 

jungshook: i was hoping to redeem myself

 

hella thicc: nothing can redeem you. it was pretty good tho, not gonna lie ;)

 

thot: nothing's better than nice wholesome cuddling.

 

Eomma: youngjae, your version of "wholesome" cuddling is dominating Jaebum.

 

thot: uh

 

[thot has left the chat!]

 

[Eomma has added thot to the chat!]

 

Eomma: :)) care to stay for a chat?

 

thot: not really

 

 

[Jae has created a groupchat! Jae has added Minnie, Seokkie, and Taetae!]

 

Jae has named the groupchat The Innocent Ones (mostly)]

 

Jae: lol

 

 Minnie: Wise choice. they're all idiots

 

Seokkie: true, true

 

Taetae: wait wait wait

 

Taetae: so... did y'all noticed namjoon's response? bitch hes not striaghtr!

 

Seokkie: you need autocorrect

 

Taetae: ew. autocorrect is gay

 

Minnie: agreed

 

Taetae: shush, you type well

 

Jae: This has descended into chaos

 

Seokkie: as was expected

 

Jae: yeah

 

Minnie: No surprise there.

 

Taetae: honestly lololol

 

 

((back to the main chat))

 

Jooniper: where did everyone go?

 

 thot: that's for us to know and you to not find out

 

JB: wth?

 

Eomma: ^^

 

le'jin'dary: I wouldn't question it tbh

 

taeger: you never should with us

 

hella thicc: i'm just surprised that tae was included

 

jdope: honestly, same

 

taeger: stfu dickheads

 

hella thicc: that's why

 

jdope: ^^^

 

taeger: >:(

 

loved by jimin: how tf did we descend into this much chaos?

 

loved by hoseok: how did we not?

 

Eomma: That makes no sense though???

 

JB: just go with it.

 

JB: you might be scarred for life if you question it any further

 

JB: trust me

 

JB: i've been there once

 

JB: it's not a pretty sight

 

Jooniper: wow sounds like JB has ptsd

 

JB: it still haunts my nightmares

 

loved by jimin: correction, we do

 

loved by hoseok: ^^

 

fuckboy: ngl, taehyung haunts mine

 

taeger: thanks

 

jungshook: oh my god stop it with the mushroom thing already

 

thot: the what??

 

fuckboy: i still get chills thinking about it

 

jdope: taehyung stuck mushrooms in yoongi's clothing drawers 

 

fuckboy: it smelled horrible in there

 

taeger: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WOULD KEEP GROWING????

 

jungshook: THEY'RE MUSHROOMS TAE, HOW DID THEY GROWN AFTER THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE???????????? 

 

Jooniper: my mood: disappointed but not surprised

 

JB: that has the same energy as a saturday afternoon at Jinyoung's place

 

Eomma: You have the same energy as a rock

 

fuckboy: hey no that's me

 

le'jin'dary: oh god

 

Markipoo: i'm going to leave. preferably by jumping off of a cliff

 

Jackipoo: take me w/ you, pls

 

Markipoo: sure thing babe

 

Jackipoo: thanks babe

 

loved by jimin: ew

 

loved by hoseok: ew x2

 

Markipoo: jackson dropped his phone and ran out the door. i think he's coming for you

 

thot: they both started running. 

 

le'jin'dary: how do you know?

 

thot: i just know

 

JB: its a youngjae thing


	3. The One About The Pineapples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuckboy: how was your typing that bad?
> 
>  
> 
> le'jin'dary: how is your face that bad?
> 
>  
> 
> fuckboy: (facepalm emoji)
> 
>  
> 
> taeger: omg he learned how to use emojis
> 
>  
> 
> jungshook: i'm proud of you grandpa

j-dope: so... can we all take a vote?

 

taeger: on what?

 

JB: ^^

 

Eomma: ^

 

j-dope: ok... no one get offended by this

 

le'jin'dary: if youi have to say that, we're msto lieklhy going to be offenceded

 

fuckboy: how was your typing that bad?

 

le'jin'dary: how is your face that bad?

 

fuckboy: 

 

taeger: omg he learned how to use emojis

 

jungshook: i'm proud of you grandpa

 

fuckboy: 

 

taeger: they often express what words cannot

 

j-dope: that was wey too deep for 5 in the fucking morning

 

thot: LANGUAGE

 

JB: calm down

 

thot: >:C

 

hella thicc: so.. what was it that you wanted a vote on?

 

j-dope: oh yeah! so... pineapple on pizza, yay or nay?

 

hella thicc: EWWWW

 

taeger: all the way

 

jungshook: i don't mind it

 

Eomma: disgusting

 

thot: it's not good at all!

 

JB: idc

 

le'jin'dary: ehhhh

 

fuckboy: ew

 

j-dope: :CCCCCC

 

j-dope: but it's so good!

 

taeger: *high fives*

 

 fuckboy: i want to stab both of you

 

 

[The Innocent Ones! (Mostly)]

 

Jae: guys guys guys

 

Taetae: hmm??

  
Seokkie: ?? whts up?

 

Jae: wanna hang out lol

 

Minnie: will there be alcohol involved?

 

Jae: ofc, who do you think i am? 

 

Minnie: then yes bitch

 

Taetae: YES

 

Seokkie: i think we are slowly becoming less innocent! but lets do it!

 

Jae: okay! my house? 8? 

 

Taetae: sounds good!

 

Jae: okay! here's my address: (address)

 

Seokkie: i will bring my hope!

 

Minnie: i'll bring my jams! strawberry or grape?

 

Taetae: GRAPE

 

Jae: lololol

 

Taetae: oh, and i'll bring my 4d personality ;)

 

Jae: sounds great lmao

 

 

~a few hours later~

 

Jae: oku agys we shuids pkay truht or dare :)

 

Seokkie: lmao youngjae had waay too much to drink

 

Taetae: oky bt why one ouri phoens?

 

Minnie: bc itsf morei fund that wya 

 

Seokkie: lmao this is too great

  
Seokkie: ok ill go first

 

Seokkie: taehyung, truth or dare?

 

Taetae: trueth!

 

Seokkie: okay... who do you like???

 

Taetae: i lije alk ofi you guyss. 

 

Seokkie: as in, romantically??

 

Taetae: noi one. 

 

Seokkie: hmmmm suspicious

 

Taetae: jae, truhg ir adare? 

 

Jae: aedr bituch

 

Taetae: i jdare yoiu to senr a poicutre ofi you in a skirut toi the othert group chatr. 

 

Jae: ist taht your woerst ?

 

 

((the main chat))

 

[fuckboy has changed the name of the chat to People On Yoongi's Hit List!]

 

jooniper: who the fuck gave yoongi-hyung admin?

 

JB: i was threatened

 

JB: he had me at forkpoint

 

Eomma: forkpoint?

 

JB: yes

 

j-dope: guys guys guys

 

jooniper: ??

 

le'jin'dary: what's up?

 

JB: ^^

 

j-dope: youngjae??? you gonna do it???? quickly so i can screenshot this moment ;)

 

JB: what's going on??

 

thot: oihrewt oifhnwjeijg here

 

thot:  

 

JB: WTF

 

Eomma: HOLHUFHNOEWIJGFIJ$OIJT$OI

 

j-dope: SCREENSHOTTED

 

taeger: fiowjegij lkfwem your acuitally dif it lkao!!!

 

jooniper: wtf! 

 

j-dope: it was a dare

 

j-dope: LMAO I FORGOT THAT HE FOUND FISHNET STOCKINGS TO MATCH!!!!

 

j-dope: oh lol jimin passed out

 

j-dope: i think that's our cue to lie down

 

j-dope: especially youngjae lmao

 

JB: were you guys... drinking?

 

fuckboi: without me?

 

fuckboi: i'm disappointed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe i hate AP homework :')


	4. Alternate Version of Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alternate version of how monsta x joins the group chat lol
> 
> the real version is in the next chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot i wrote this and wrote a different chapter 4 and decided that i would just post this anyways because im lazy

JB: guys

JB: im gonna add some other contacts of mine into this

 

Eomma: why?

 

JB: bc im too lazy to have a thousand different individual convos

JB: This is good enough

 

 

[JB has added bunny, bear, puppy, honey bee, turtle, kitten, and hamster!]

 

jooniper: wow for once u were uncreative with names

 

hamster: ????? jaebum what is this???

 

JB: oh sorry

JB: this is a groupchat with basically all of my contacts bc im lazy 

JB: here is the newcomers: 

hamster: kihyun, a classmate

bunny: hoseok 2.0, classmate

actually all of them are classmates of mine in various classes so yeah

puppy: changkyun

honey bee: jooheon

turtle: hyungwon

kitten: minhyuk

bear: hyunwoo

 

bunny: why am i hoseok 2.0?

 

JB: bc we already have a hoseok in here

 

j-dope: hi! <3

 

bunny: oh, hello!

bunny: thne everyone can just call me wonho!

 

puppy: y'all i found an espresso sign but its missing the p so it's just es resso lmao

puppy: (Picture)

 

taeger: ...

 

[taeger has changed puppy's named to es resso!]

 

es resso: i ain't even mad

 

kitten: excellent uwu

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thot: its a hard knock life :C
> 
>  
> 
> jdope: its a hard knock life for us
> 
>  
> 
> taeger: instead of treated, we get tricked :c
> 
>  
> 
> hella thicc: instead of kisses, we get kicked :C

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the inspiration for this chapter was me watching a bunch of vine videos on youtube because i had nothing better to do
> 
> and stray kids appear for like three seconds

thot: its a hard knock life :C

 

jdope: its a hard knock life for us

 

taeger: instead of treated, we get tricked :c

 

hella thicc: instead of kisses, we get kicked :C

 

jungshook: why?

 

thot: we all got blocked by a few friends of ours :CCCCCC

 

taeger: ALL I DID WAS SAY THAT I WOULD RATHER HANG OUT WITH JUNGKOOK

 

thot: u HURT HIS FEELINGS AND THEN WE ALL SAID THAT JUNGKOOK IS A FUN GUY AND HE JUST STRAIGHT UP BLOCKED US THAT LITTLE BITCH

 

loved by hoseok: damn, hyung cursed

 

thot: here ill text oen of his friends to see if he'll unblock us

 

~a few minutes later~

 

thot: okay he said on one condition

 

taeger: what's that?

 

thot: that we confess our undying love for him

 

taeger: ok add him here so that we can all do it

 

thot: hang on ill need to add his friend first

 

taeger: okay lol

 

[thot has added honeybee!]

  
[honeybee has added wolfieboi!]

 

woflieboi: im waiting

 

thot: IM SORRY I LOVE YOU PLS UNBLOCK ME

 

taeger: ^^ I LOVE YOU TOO PLS

 

hellathicc: ^^^ PLS Im SO SAD WHY

 

jdope: PLS UNBLOCK ME ^^ I LOVE U SO MUCH

 

wolfieboi: fine

 

thot: YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

 

loved by hoseok: oh hey changkyun hyung

 

wolfieboi: hey yugyeom!

 

loved by jimin: oh lol yuo know each other?

 

loved by hoseok: yeah lol

 

JB: oh hey jooheon. i guess ill just add hyunwoo then if their both here

 

[JB has added big boi!]

 

big boi: um

 

JB: hey hyunwoo

 

big boi: uh hey Jaebum

 

Eomma: if you get to add ppl then im gonna add someone

 

[Eomma has added kihamster!]

 

kihamster: ahahaha so funny

 

Eomma: do you want a different name?

 

wolfieboi: wait i got one for him

 

[woflieboi has changed kihamster's name to bananafofanna!]

 

bananafofanna: im not even going to comment on this

 

[bananafofanna has changed wolfieboi's name to es resso!]

  
[bananafofanna has changed honeybee's name to cheeky monkey!]

 

bananafofanna: there

 

[cheeky monkey has added bunbun!]

 

cheeky monkey: hoseok wanted to know what we were laughing at

 

jdope: ????????

 

bunbun: oh lol i see

 

es resso: KIHYUN YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN

 

es resso: hi hoseok hyung!

 

bunbun: hiiii!

 

jdope: ??????????????

 

[bananafofanna has changed bunbun's name to official idiot!]

 

bananafofanna: thats a much better name for hoseok

 

official idiot: HEYYYYY

 

jdope: ??????????????????????????????????

 

official idiot: might as well add the last two then

 

[official idiot has added uwu and is never here!]

 

is never here: surprise bitch

 

official idiot: HYUNGWONNIE UR ACTUALLY ONLINE

 

is never here: i just woke up lmao and its too early for ur shit so im ignoring yall

 

jooniper: it's 6 pm though?

 

is never here: did i fucking stutter?

 

le'jin'dary: you best back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up!

 

cheeky monkey: one of the neighborhood kids just yelled "CHRIS! IS THAT A WEED? IM CALLING THE POLICE!"

 

es resso: oh lmao was that jeongin?

 

cheeky monkey: yes lmao he was yelling at that kid down the street, chan i think his name is?

 

taeger: why dont we just see how many vines we can fit into everyday situations?

 

thot: ...

 

taeger: what??

 

thot: im playing video games with bammie and yugyeom just ran in, wearing all green, said "im gay", and then kissed bambam and left

 

es resso: oh lmao

 

uwu: OH MY LORD MY COLLEGE PROFESSOR LITERALLY JUST QUOTED THAT ONE THOMAS SANDERS VINE AND SAID, "alright i have a headache so

instead of a lecture we're gonna watch a youtube video and then go home" BITCH THAT WAS PERFECTLY TIMED

 

thot: haha lol

 

big boi: okay but the ocean is so large and mysterious

 

bananafofanna: can you not? i dont need to be thinking about that! I have studying to do

 

big boi: space is bigger

 

bananafofanna: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Eomma: kids make sure to eat those vegetables so grow up big and strong

 

loved by jimin: what about you?

 

Eomma: me? i hate brocoli im not gonna do that stuff

 

es resso: i have been runted

 

cheeky monkey: me and minhyuk assumed the positions of the alpha friends

 

jdope: are we only doing thomas sanders vines?

 

es resso: we'll branch out in a minute

 

big boi: spider dwarf, spider dwarf

 

big boi: OH MY GOD HES DEAD

 

Eomma: what?

 

big boi: kihyun was climbing on some monkeybars and fell off

 

JB: okay okay if people are getting hurt then we should stop

 

JB: for now ;)

 

jdope: okay but is anyone ever going to explain the whol eTWO HOSEOKS THING???

 

es resso: no

 

jdope: 

 

es resso: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to add monsta x bc i fucking can
> 
> and the picture at the end is supposed to be the "am i a joke to you?" meme but it wouldn't shop up on my laptop so i thought i would specify that lol


	6. return of the memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jooniper: the fact that you took the time to make that really scares me
> 
>  
> 
> official idiot: it's actually not that surprising
> 
>  
> 
> official idiot: he puts his all into everything
> 
>  
> 
> uwu: ofc i do. its how i show my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have this weird way of inserting the pics into this story so they are hard to see so here is the list of memes i used in this (all made by me lmao):
> 
> (in order)  
>  https://imgflip.com/i/38osnr
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38osvm
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38otc1
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38otik
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38otlu
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38otyj
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38ou1r
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38otrz
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38ou7q
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38oubn
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38oug2
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38oulp
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38ouo7
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38oupy
> 
> https://imgflip.com/i/38out2

[People On Yoongi's Hit List!]

 

taeger: hoseok hyung has -in the past 22 minutes- cried about scented candle wax, screamed at a spider, and ran 12 laps around my house

 

taeger: make that 13

 

loved by jimin: uh why

 

hella thicc: you know those 5 elementary school kids that are always hanging out together?

 

hella thicc: well yeonjun, the eldest of them, got a hold of some nerf guns and so now they're all chasing him

 

uwu: well, when life gives you lemons 

 

Eomma: oh my god are we still doing that?

 

uwu: 

 

jooniper: the fact that you took the time to make that really scares me

 

official idiot: it's actually not that surprising

 

official idiot: he puts his all into everything

 

uwu: ofc i do. its how i show my love

 

es resso: speaking of people taking time to do things, i made a love chart based on how much love is shown

 

es resso: i chose four subjects and catogorized them as such

 

es resso: 

 

jungshook: why is that the expanding brain meme?

 

es resso: closest thing i could think of

 

bananafofanna: i really wish i had put all of you up for adoption

 

es resso:

 

cheeky monkey: 

 

thot: 

 

Eomma: 

 

loved by hoseok: 

 

Eomma: 

 

is never here: 

 

jungshook: 

 

le'jin'dary: 

 

jungshook: 

 

taeger: 

 

le'jin'dary: 

 

jooniper: where the fuck are you guys making all these memes???

 

JB: ^^

 

hella thicc: imgflip.com

 

fuckboy: well shit

 

fuckboy: im glad i missed all that 

 


	7. subtle roleplaying never hurt anyone, however the 42 squad is a different story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> official idiot: not gonna lie, my function levels are at 3% and i almost drank elmer's glue
> 
> official idiot: and i have cuddle deprivation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew i need sleep and even my gf is like, "Sleep. Please." but i wrote this and wanted to post it anyways lmao

es resso: No! You are Pink Diamond! That is Pink Diamond's gem! You do not look like this! You do not sound like this! You are not half human, you're just... a-acting like a child! *bangs fists on ground*

thot: *laughs with taehyung while bouncing from the bangs*

taeger: i am a child *smiles* what's your excuse?

es resso: *blushes* What's happening? What is this? What's wrong with them? They're turning... pink! I don't understand... I'm in control, I... *gasps* Something's wrong... with me! No!

es resso: What is this?! I feel... ridiculous. Yellow, Blue! *reaches out to jimin and hoseok*

jdope: *gasps and turns away* she's off color!

es resso: This can't be happening! I can't have a flaw! I'm supposed to be flawless! If I'm not perfect, then... who am I?! If you're not Pink, then... who are you?! Who -- Who is anyone?!

taeger: Ya know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are, too.

es resso: But I'm not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to know better! I'm supposed to be better! I'm supposed to make everything better!

taeger: You can! But first, you're going to have to leave your own head.

jungshook: what the literal fuck

thot: we just watched steven universe, Change Your Mind

taeger: we wanted to act it out uwu

taeger: i was steven

es resso: i was white diamond

thot: i was connie!!!!

jdope: i was yellow diamond!!

hella thicc: and i was blue diamond! <3

uwu: oh my GOD I LOVE STEVEN UNIVERSE

uwu: UGH I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE A CHARACTER FROM SU!

is never here: lmao im definitely lion

cheeky monkey: you watch su too??

is never here: basically everyone except jungkook, bambam, namjoon, and kihyun watches it

Eomma: oh shit we've been outed

JB: i trusted you

is never here: that was your first mistake of many

official idiot: not gonna lie, my function levels are at 3% and i almost drank elmer's glue

official idiot: and i have cuddle deprivation

uwu: awwwwwwwwww i will cuddle w/ you!

cheeky monkey: sameeeee!!

official idiot: awww <3333

es resso: ngl, i've almost drunk elmer's glue before

jooniper: what

big boi: wait for it

es resso: but it was on purpose lmao

big boi: there it is

big boi: he has the ability to question your sanity with one sentence

es resso: eh

es resso: that's what the 42 squad is for

es resso: we do it as a whole

bananfofanna: NOPE WE"RE DONE TALKIGN ABOUT THAT

thot: ????

official idiot: n e v e r

uwu: 42 squad lives on forever

uwu: unlike some people, so enjoy your time while it lasts kihyun

bananafofanna: i think i wanna go feed myself to some sharks


	8. things go too far and hyungwon acts like a true coke drinker which disgraces the pepsi loving family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is never here: this is payback for that one time that you guys all agreed that sleep is less important compared to school
> 
>  
> 
> is never here: you can't run on coffee and red bull forever, you freaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just kind of wrote some shit with no direction in mind
> 
> oh and all of them (besides hyungwon) are exclusively pepsi drinkers. no coke in this holy family

[People On Yoongi's Hit List!]

 

es resso: i vote that today becomes brandon rogers day

 

taeger: who?

 

es resso: oh my god, jin, have you not raised him right??

 

le'jin'dary: fuck i forgot brandon goddamnit

 

le'jin'dary: give us a few hours

 

thot: anyone that hasn't watched brandon rogers, go with them

 

official idiot: oh my god hyungwon just left

 

cheeky monkey: to be fair he did fall asleep whenever we tried to watch with him

 

official idiot: true

 

~later~

 

taeger: holy shit

 

taeger: my eyes have been opened

 

is never here: eh but i think that james charles is better

 

bananfofanna: out.

 

bananafofanna: i didn't raise my children to disrespect brandon the god

 

is never here: 1. im not your child and 2. he's just sub par

 

cheeky monkey: YOU'RE, YOU'RE.... YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A TRUE COKE DRINKER!!!

 

is never here: :0

 

es resso: jooheon! EVEN I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR!!!!

 

big boi: that's it

 

big boi: hyungwon, jooheon, you'r'e both grounded

 

is never here: i literally live on the other side of the city

 

big boi: dont test me

 

is never here: okay, jesus!

 

official idiot: HOW COULD EITHER OF YOU!!!!

 

es resso: oh great you've made hoseok hyung cry

 

jungshook: hoseok hyung is crying too  
  


jdope: heyy whhnat no thnatfs a like

 

fuckboy: hoseok, even your regular typing isnt that bad

 

jdope: IHFOUIEJGIOJG

 

jooniper: okay we've all gotten a little upset today, so why don't we just take a break?

 

uwu: come on kyunnie lets go comfort heonnie >:C

 

es resso: mhm :(  
  


~later~

 

is never here: this is payback for that one time that you guys all agreed that sleep is less important compared to school

 

is never here: you can't run on coffee and red bull forever, you freaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you know, my brother had my family blindly taste two sodas (coke and pepsi) and guess which was coke and say which was better. everyone said that the pepsi tasted better, but i was the only one that guessed which one was pepsi and which was coke. and they all still say that they hate pepsi


	9. all i can say is that markson dies and the single pringle squad rises and then dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JB: okay i'll take away Yoongi's admin
> 
>  
> 
> JB: just let me lock myself away and stuff first
> 
>  
> 
> JB: okay done
> 
>  
> 
> fuckboy: im coming over to your house with three spoons and a piece of cardboard
> 
>  
> 
> bananfofanna: that would just be ridiculous coming from someone else, but from him it's just terrifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was writing this chapter and then i realized something.
> 
>  
> 
> for the past few chapters i forgot to add in jackson and mark completely, and in my notes for who has what name, i don't even have them written down!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> oh my god lmao im so sorry
> 
> edit: i forgot that bambam wanted to change the name of the chat so here it is

[People On Yoongi's Hit List!]

 

  
loved by jimin: i seriously want to change the name of our chat but im high key afraid to

 

  
fuckboy: you should be

 

  
JB: okay i'll take away Yoongi's admin

 

  
JB: just let me lock myself away and stuff first

 

  
JB: okay done

 

  
fuckboy: im coming over to your house with three spoons and a piece of cardboard

  
bananfofanna: that would just be ridiculous coming from someone else, but from him it's just terrifying

  
hella thicc: yeah that's pretty much him in a nutshell

  
thot: he's too scary >^<

  
fuckboy: cant help it

 

[loved by jimin has changed the chat name to EVERYTHING IS GAY!]

  
[Jackipoo has changed their name to WangGae!]

  
[WangGae has changed Eomma's name to ParkGae!]

  
uwu: HOLY FUCK WHO IS THAT AND WHERE DID THEY COME FROM

  
JB: that's jackson and omg i forgot you existed

  
Markipoo: markson is dead

  
[Markipoo has changed their name to Single Pringle!]

  
thot: WAIT WAIT WAIT DID YOU GUYS ACTUALLY BREAK UP?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  
loved by hoseok: NO NOT MY OTP

  
loved by jimin: don't worry we will keep them in our hearts

  
ParkGae: hes just being dramatic because he saw me and jackson hanging out yesterday

  
uwu: seriously, who the fuck are these people????

  
cheeky monkey: ^^^^^

  
es resso: where did they come from?

  
es resso: the depths of hell?

  
es resso: if so, then me too!

  
Single Pringle: *high fives whoever es resso is*

  
es resso: yeahhhhhh

  
taeger: lmao does that mean they have to do intros again

  
big boi: i dont think we ever did intros

  
JB: well okay here:

big boi: hyunwoo, a friend of mine  
bananafofanna: kihyun, jinyoung's friend  
es resso: changkyun, friends with the kids  
cheeky monkey: jooheon, also friends with the kids  
official idiot: hoseok, can't remember how he got here  
uwu: minhyuk, can't remember how he got here  
and is never here: hyungwon, only here occassionally

  
WangGae: oh wow

  
Single Pringle: oh okay

  
le'jin'dary: didnt hoseok bring minhyuk?

  
official idiot: not gonna lie, i dont remember how i got here either

  
uwu: same but it mightve been hoseok

  
jdope: why does his name have to be hoseok???

  
official idiot: uhhh

  
jooniper: why dont we give official idiot a new name so we dont confuse jdope?

  
official idiot: oh okay ill just go by my nickname then lmao

  
official idiot: you can just call me wonho then

  
jdope: thank god

  
jungshook: so are we just gonna ignore the fact that mark and jackson, the literal epitome of relationship goals, has broken up?

  
thot: yes

  
thot: thinking about it hurts my soul

  
thot: im also going to try to ignore the fact that im dating a traitor

  
ParkGae: hey i didn't ask for this you know

  
WangGae: well now ive chosen a side for you so hah

  
WangGae: take that MARKIPOO

  
Single Pringle: markipoo is dead. only single pringle exists now

  
es resso: RISE OF THE SINGLE PRINGLES

  
cheeky monkey: aww i dont wanna be a single pringle

  
es resso: too BAD

 

[private message: joohoney and iamwhatiam]

joohoney: what if i dont want to be a single pringle bc theres some1 i like???

  
iamwhatiam: WHAT HYUNG GO GET URSELF A MANS

  
joohoney: what if he acts like one but in reality hes the opposite

  
iamwhatiam: THEN GO GET URSELF A BF

  
joohoney: uh ok but um...

  
joohoney: idk what to say

  
iamwhatiam: umm ok pretend that im ur crush, okay???

  
joohoney: uh ok

  
iamwhatiam: now tell 'your crush' how you feel about them!!

  
joohoney: ok

  
joohoney: so um i reallyreallyreallyreally like you and i wanna date you because of that and this is awkward

  
iamwhatiam: you know what thats great except for the ending, leave that out

  
joohoney: shit

  
iamwhatiam: what???

  
joohoney: ive already sent that to him though

  
iamwhatiam: HYUNG WHY

  
joohoney: iDK

  
iamwhatiam: so has he replied???

  
joohoney: um yes

  
iamwhatiam: what did he say?

  
joohoney: ehehehehehehe he said 'you know what thats great except for the ending, leave that out'

  
iamwhatiam: wait what

  
iamwhatiam: wHAT

  
iamwhatiam: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

 

[EVERYTHING IS GAY!]

  
bananafofanna: changkyun just started screaming and now hes running aorund the kitchen island

  
big boi: with a grapefruit in his hand

  
es resso: well i was going to cut it up and eat it but then i got some n e w s

  
bananafofanna: he stopped to write that and then after sending it immediately started running again

  
official idiot: speaking of screaming, i was watching a movie with joo and all of a sudden he started screaming

  
is never here: hmmm

  
is never here: suspicious

  
uwu: what do you think happened????

  
Eomma: do you think that they are screaming because of each other?

  
es resso: yes

  
official idiot: oh shit get ready for a lot of A's

  
cheeky monkey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  
jungshook: holy fuck

  
le'jin'dary: watch your language

  
jungshook: i cannot watch korean hyung

  
jooniper: i mean he's got you there

  
hella thicc: jin hyung has a wooden spoon and is chasing namjoon hyung

  
taeger: SOMEONE GET THE POPCORN

 

[private message: joohoney and iamwhatiam]

iamwhatiam: DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU LIKE ME BACK????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
joohoney: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'BACK'!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????

  
iamwhatiam: F U C K

  
[EVERYTHING IS GAY!]

  
official idiot: soooooooooo joo has become the literal definition of shrieking intensifies

  
[private message: joohoney and iamwhatiam]

  
iamwhatiam: wait so you like me???

  
joohoney: YES I LIKE you sorry my caps lock was still on

  
iamwhatiam: hOLD ON JUST A MOMENT

  
[EVERYTHING IS GAY!]

  
bananafofanna: so changkyun just took off running?

  
cheeky monkey: WAHT

  
es resso: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED TO DO THIS BEFORE MY CONFIDENCE FIZZLES OUT

  
jungshook: i dont know what you're doing but it sounds possibly dumb or life changing SO WHOOP WHOOP GO CHANGKYUN

  
uwu: GO KYUNNIE

  
official idiot: CHANGKYUN JUST RAN IN AND TACKLED JOOHEON IN A HUG AND NOW THEY'RE KISSING AND IDK WHAT TO DO

  
is never here: aww that means that the single pringle squad is two people short

  
official idiot: ...............................

  
big boi: wonho think of the consequences

  
official idiot: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  
es resso: OH MY GOD WONHO HYUNG JUST KISSED HYUNGWON AND THEN HYUNGON GASPED AND THEN JUST STARTED KISSING HIM BACK

  
is never here: so the single pringle squad is down to minkyuk, mark, jackson, yoongi, hoseok, taehyung, jungkook, and jimin

  
hella thicc: actually about that

  
hella thicc: im dating hoseok and yoongi

  
jungshook: wtf when did that happen

  
jdope: like two minutes ago

  
taeger: for real???

  
fuckboy: yes

  
is never here: so its minhyuk, mark, taehyung, jackson, and jungkook?

  
jungshook: hold on lemme just change that

  
loved by hoseok: oh shit he just left where are you going???

  
taeger: OH MY GODJIFOGWIERJGIORJGOIRJGIORJG

  
jungshook: :))))

  
thot: HE WAS SO SHAMELESS

  
taeger: ...

  
taeger: the single pringle squad has been reduced to mark, jackson, and minhyuk...

  
jooniper: oh my god i seriously thought this day would never come

  
jooniper: yoongi pay up

  
jungshook: WHAT YOU MADE BETS ON US????

  
uwu: we've all made bets on each other

  
uwu: i just made 80,000 won because of hyungwon and wonho


	10. shit happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loved by jimin: O.O
> 
>  
> 
> loved by jimin: he's using p u n c t u a t i o n
> 
>  
> 
> loved by hoseok: shh it's okay bammie
> 
>  
> 
> loved by hoseok: it wont last forever, i promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just had to add in a stupid jams joke 
> 
> ((IMPORTANT: if i were to write a chapter, just like a real story, not a chatfic, would you guys be mad?))
> 
> also
> 
> HIGH SHCOOL SRARTS TOMOORWOW AND I DONT WANT TO PLS SOMEONE HIT ME WITH A CAR OR SOMETHING
> 
> oh and in the last chapter i got super lazy and didnt space the sentences right so i will do that in this one!

[EVERYTHING IS GAY!]

 

loved by jimin: GUSY MARK AN D JNASKOCN LEGIT BRKOE UP AND IKDE HOW TO REACT

 

jungshook: AWAIT WHJAT

 

taeger: HNWY ARE WE ALLK TYPING LIKE TOIDLERSD

 

hella thicc: YOURE IKIDDING RIKGHT???????

 

loved by hoseok: NOIPE THAHT S REAL ZXHIT

 

JB: don't you think you guys are overreacting?

 

JB: Mark and Jackson are adults, capable of making their own descisions.

 

ParkGae: jaebum, youre literally crying into jae's shoulder as youre typing

 

thot: busted

 

ParkGae: Youngjae, youre sobbing too

 

jooniper: uno reverse card

 

le'jin'dary: ahem

 

jooniper: nodonttellthemisweariwilldoanything

 

le'jin'dary: even buy jimin more strawberry jam?

 

hella thicc: :D

 

jooniper: anything but that

 

hella thicc; D:

 

le'jin'dary: ahahah

 

le'jin'dary: namjoon has created a markson shrine and is sacrificing all of his 'rapson' things in a small fire next to it

 

le'jin'dary: he has printed off all of his selfies with jackson and is throwing them in the fire as he is crying and softly singing oom plucky plucky which is terrifying

 

uwu: i dont even really know what markson is but if other people are crying then so am i

 

WangGae: SEE MARK EVEN MINHYUK CARES AND HE DOESNT EVEN REALLY KNOW US

 

Single Pringle: Nah.

 

Single Pringle: You've chosen, and so have I.

 

loved by jimin: O.O

 

loved by jimin: he's using p u n c t u a t i o n

 

loved by hoseok: shh it's okay bammie

 

loved by hoseok: it wont last forever, i promise

 

[ParkGae has changed their name to Eomma!]

 

uwu: please

 

uwu: When a Single Pringle does something, they do it to the extreme. Meaning, he will do it for as long as he needs to, to prove his point. Whatever point that is.

 

official idiot: NO NOT MINHYUK TOO

 

WangGae: SERIOUSLY MARK YOURE JUST BEING SO SO SO

 

Single Pringle: Wanna finish that sentence?

 

WangGae: YeS i dO

 

WangGae: You're being so childish right now! Seriously! It's so ANNOYING

 

WangGae: Like sure, I get it, I can be the same way, BUT YOURE NEVER LIKE THIS, AND EVEN BY MY STANDARDS, THIS IS PUSHING IT!

 

big boi: oh god changkyun is blasting In The Club

 

jdope: UGH

 

jdope: we stan such kings, dont we?

 

es resso: yES DX

 

fuckboy: jeup is a wholeass mood

 

thot: oh wow

 

is never here: jesus you guys

 

is never here: the two people that broke up are at each others throats and you guys are fanboying over Imfact?

 

es resso: correct

 

jdope: CANT WE JUST SHOVE THEM IN A CLOSET AND HAVE THEM WORK IT OUT????

 

Single Pringle: I am not going near that idiot any time soon.

 

loved by hoseok: HUEWROIJMGV)IOWRJM)OGFIJGOIUR

 

loved by hoseok: jINYOUNG HELP

 

Eomma: What happened?

 

loved by hoseok: AJCCKOSNM SMAHSED A MGLADSS AGINAST FHTE FLOORS AND NOW HHNES GOIT A BOLOODY HAND AND MNY FEET ARFEDF COVERFED IN GOLASS SHNAREDS FROM STRYING TO SGETEDP AWYA

 

Eomma: What???? ygueyoM???

 

loved by hoseok: UAIHNFIOJIGOWJG PLS

 

Eomma: WHERE ARE YOU?????

 

loved by hoseok: THNAT KICEHTECHN

 

JB: They're in the kitchen, i heard yugyeom scream

 

Eomma: WHTA?>?????

 

es resso: omg the suspense

 

es resso: someone needs to help them soon

 

Eomma: okay thats it

 

[Eomma has removed WangGae!]

 

loved by jimin: why??

 

Eomma: BECAUSE YUGYEOM HAS CUTS ALL OVER HIS FEET AND HES C R Y I N G AND JACKSON HAS A BLOODY HAND AND HE WONT STOP YELLING

 

JB: seriously, what the hell happened???

 

loved by jimin: OPEN THE FUCK UP

 

loved by jimin: LET ME BEAT JACKSON INTO A PULP FOR HURTING MY GYEOMIE

 

loved by hoseok: no no bammie hed tear you to shreds

 

loved by jimin: but

 

loved by hoseok: :C

 

loved by jimin: fine

 

loved by jimin: but still let me in though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of my gf's friends is mad at me because i didnt reply to her but like.... my internet sucks and my laptop keep crashing so i waited for a few days for the problems to get better?????? 
> 
> like, seriously, please dont go off on me just because i waited a few days to reply to her!! its not like i left her on read or something. i didnt even get a chance to look at her messages!
> 
> and thats all on Ranting About Life, Episode 1
> 
> Sorry lol


	11. #whipped, #couplegoals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> official idiot: #whipped
> 
>  
> 
> es resso: pls, youre #whipped for minhyuk
> 
>  
> 
> es resso: and hyungwon
> 
>  
> 
> official idiot: you got me there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was planning on using this really cute picture of jackson for his selfie, but then i got real sad when i realized that he's still kicked from the chat :C

taeger: um so like idek what half of you look like

 

taeger: maybe we should just all share selfies???

 

uwu: ugh kyunnie has so many selfies

 

jungshook: sure why not

 

is never here: mhm yeah ok

 

is never here: 

 

es resso: the beautifullest queen

 

es resso: we stan, we love

 

taeger: 

 

jungshook: WHO FUCKING GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO LOOK THAT CUTE????

 

jungshook: 

 

official idiot: oh, we love a good forehead

 

official idiot: 

 

loved by jimin: why are just the tips blue?

 

official idiot: fashion statement

 

loved by jimin: uh ok

 

loved by jimin: 

 

loved by hoseok: omg is that chan from down the street

 

loved by jimin: yeah uwu

 

thot: he looks awkward and depressed

 

loved by jimin: wow if you had only added coffee addicted then you would have nailed his personality

 

thot: 

 

es resso: YAYEET

 

es resso: 

 

uwu: my pic is better!! >:)

 

uwu: 

 

official idiot: awwww a precious baby!!

 

official idiot: ;P i wanna kith

 

jooniper: i thought you were dating hyungwon

 

official idiot: ehh kind of? not really?

 

is never here: im dating myself

 

is never here: wonho is just my kissing buddy

 

official idiot: <3333

 

uwu: awww ill kith you

 

official idiot: YAY!!!

 

es resso: aw :C

 

es resso: hyungie can i have a kith???

 

uwu: if you admit that my picture is better >:)

 

es resso: its cuter than mine ;)

 

uwu: fine ill take that

 

uwu: c'mere!!!

 

big boi: 

 

bananafofanna: hello there gorgeous

 

bananafofanna: 

 

big boi: hey ;)

 

es resso: eww

 

cheeky monkey: 

 

es resso: OHMYGODYOULOOKSOPRETTYANDIJUSTWANNAKISSTHOSELIPSDAMN

 

bananafofanna: -_-

 

official idiot: #whipped

 

es resso: pls, youre #whipped for minhyuk

 

es resso: and hyungwon

 

official idiot: you got me there

 

is never here: <3

 

uwu: <3

 

le'jin'day: i've come to blow your minds away with my beauty

 

le'jin'dary: 

 

loved by jimin: well, you're not wrong, you are beautiful

 

le'jin'dary: *mic drop*

 

fuckboy: hey no that's my line

 

le'jin'dary: oh hey you came back to life

 

fuckboy: yeah

 

fuckboy: 

 

loved by hoseok: FUIHENWUGOJIRJWGOIR H EWU(HFOIEWHGF YOU LOOK SO HARMLESS THOUGH???? LIKE, FAR FROM SCARY

 

hella thicc: that's just a facade

 

jdope: ^^

 

hella thicc: 

 

es resso: lmao your hair kinda matches

 

jdope: :))

 

jdope: 

 

JB: #couplegoals

 

JB: 

 

Eomma: <33333333

 

JB: <3333333

 

Eomma: 

 

JB: cute

 

loved by hoseok: *gags*

 

loved by hoseok: 

 

loved by jimin: eyyy so pretty

 

loved by hoseok: >////<

 

taeger: who hasn't shared one yet??

 

le'jin'dary: *narrows eyes* namjoon

 

jooniper: pls no

 

le'jin'dary: nolFIJOIJG fine i'll just send one he sent me yesterday

 

le'jin'dary: 

 

jooniper: JIN WHY

 

Single Pringle: why did you send him a picture of you brushing your teeth??

 

jooniper: SHUT UPPPP

 

le'jin'dary: now now, joon. that's no way to talk to markles

 

Single Pringle: markles?

 

[le'jin'dary has changed Single Pringle's name to Markles!]

 

Markles: ...

 

Markles: 

 

Markles: 

 

taeger: what i thought you were daesang

 

Markles: ??? youve seen me in real life tho

 

jungshook: hes too gullible for his own good, dw

 

jungshook: anyone left?

 

taeger: lets seeeeeee.... namjoon, jungkook, me, mark, jin, jaebum, jinyoung, minhyuk, hyungwon, hoseok, jimin, youngjae, yugyeom, bambam, yoongi, hyunwoo, wonho, kihyun, changkyun, jooheon.... i think that's everyone!!

 

taeger: sweeeeet!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu just these boys sharing selfies bc i dunno what to do just yet


	12. romeo and juliet, on a balcony they met. scram you guys, i've got a date, Shakespeare's coming at half past eight!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheeky monkey: oh shit wait
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _cheeky monkey has renamed the chat The Capulets!_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Single Pringle: wait does that make me Lord Capulet? 
> 
>  
> 
> cheeky monkey: mhm
> 
>  
> 
> Single Pringle: wait then whos juliet? or wait.. .is that supposed to be me??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this while having a killer headache, so please dont judge me
> 
> oh and i almost fell asleep in phys ed :)))
> 
> im the idiot that manages to do that 
> 
> yep

[puppers!]

 

hyukkie: jackson??

 

hyukkie: jackson!!

 

hyukkie: JACKSON

 

kkukkung: HYUNG STOP SPAMMING

 

jiminie: ^^

 

gyeommei: ^^^

 

hyukkie well i WANNA TALK TO JACKSON

 

kkukkung: never would have guessed

 

hyukkie: im gonna ignore you both

 

hyukkie: JACKSOOOOOOOOOOON

 

hyukkie: JACKSON

 

hyukkie: JACKSON

 

hyukkie: JACKSON

 

wangpuppy: WHAT, GODDAMMIT

 

hyukkie: WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK IS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND MARK???

 

wangpuppy: MARK IS BEING STUPID

 

wangpuppy: I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

 

jiminie: OH MY GOD STOP YELLING

 

wangpuppy: WE'RE TEXTING

 

jiminie: WELL WHOOP-DI-DO

 

hyukkie: i swear to god just tell us what's going on 

 

hyukkie: we wanna hear your side too, idiot

 

wangpuppy: fjwogfij2ogfi no u dont 

 

wangpuppy: dont lie to me

 

kkukkungie: yeah we do

 

kkukkungie: it wouldnt be fair to judge you if we didnt hear your part

 

wangpuppy: fine

 

wangpuppy: mark is jsut upset because he says that i never interact with him anymore, but that isnt true???

 

wangpuppy: and he gets mad because i come home late, but teh reason i do is because i have such a tight schedule that i hardly get time to breath

 

wangpuppy: and now im tutoring someone in my class because they are failing 

 

wangpuppy: but mark wouldnt hear ANY of my side

 

wangpuppy: he jsut accused me of not wanting to be with him anymore, and then i left

 

jiminie: awww hyung

 

jiminie: where are you staying???

 

wangpuppy: with joonie

 

wangpuppy: he and jin are being very nice to me

 

wangpuppy: they listened to me too :')

 

jimnie: :'C this makes me sad

 

gyeommie: me too :(((

 

 

[EVERYTHING IS GAY!]

 

uwu: @namjoon and jin: you guys are so nice :))

 

jooniper: what for???

 

le'jin'dary: ^^^^^^^^

 

uwu: for letting jackson stay with you 

 

le'jin'dary: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

Single Pringle: youre what

 

Single Pringle: i trusted you guys

 

Single Pringle: and now youve gone and betrayed me

 

jooniper: part of me will always love him

 

jooniper: no matter how idiotic he is

 

hella thicc: truer words have never been spoken

 

_Single Pringle has kicked jooniper!_

 

le'jin'dary: well

 

le'jin'dary: i guess this is goodbye

 

_Single Pringle has kicked le'jin'dary!_

 

taeger: MARK!!!!!

 

hella thicc: :CCCC

 

jungshook: at least they were kicked together

 

es resso: tru dat

 

thot: MARK HYUNG!

 

Single Pringle: >:C

 

Single Pringle: i'm still mad

 

JB: yeah but shouldnt you just put this past you now??

 

Eomma: you have to admit though, jackson has been a dick to him

 

JB: yeah but what if jackson wasnt trying to make mark feel that way?

 

Single Pringle: i highly doubt that

 

Eomma: seriously jaebum, havent you seen how much jackson hurt mark? 

 

JB: yeah but what if jackson was hurt as well?  
  


Eomma: how could he be hurt when he was the one ignoring mark?!?!

 

JB: maybe he wasn't trying to ignore mark!! people have lives, you know!!

 

Eomma: oh my god stop trying to defend him!

 

_thot has left the chat!_

 

loved by hoseok: oh great, look what youve done!

 

loved by hoseok: did you guys forget about how we all feel?

 

_loved by hoseok has left the chat!_

 

loved by jimin: sorry mark, but i agree with jaebum hyung

 

_loved by jimin has left the chat!_

 

_JB has left the chat!_

 

_uwu has left the chat!_

 

_is never here has muted the chat!_

 

_es resso has left the chat!_

_big boi has left the chat!_

 

_official idiot has muted the chat!_

 

Eomma: oh my god 

 

Eomma: you guys are all so childish!

 

Single Pringle: thanks for being there for me, jinyoung :)

 

Eomma: ofc <3

 

taeger: :C

 

_taeger has left the chat!_

 

_jungshook has muted the chat!_

 

Eomma: who does that even leave?

 

Single Pringle: obviously you and me

 

cheeky monkey: still here

 

jdope: same

 

fuckboy: yeah

 

bananafofanna: im here as well

 

Single Pringle: are any of you gonna give me the cold shoulder as well?

 

jdope: nah

 

jdope: im here to stay

 

fuckboy: ^^^^

 

bananafofanna: i gotchu

 

cheeky monkey: ill stay too

 

Single Pringle: thanks guys :')

 

cheeky monkey: oh shit wait

 

_cheeky monkey has renamed the chat The Capulets!_

 

Single Pringle: wait does that make me Lord Capulet? 

 

cheeky monkey: mhm

 

Single Pringle: wait then whos juliet? or wait.. .is that supposed to be me??

 

fuckboy: uhh

 

fuckboy: jooheon can be juliet?

 

bananafofanna: jooheon makes a good juliet im sure 

 

~~

 

_changkyun montague has created a chat!_

_changkyun montague has added namjoon montague, jin montague, taehyung montague, mr. montague, youngjae monatgue, hyunwoo montague, bambam montague, yugyeom montague, jaebum montague, minhyuk montague, and jimin montague!_

 

_changkyun montague has named the chat The Montagues!_

 

mr. montague: why?

 

changkyun montague: bc jooheon sent me a text

 

changkyun montague: and apparently everyone still with mark is now the capulets

 

jin montague: do we have to keep these names?

 

changkyun montague: no

 

changkyun montague: we jsut need to create new inside jokes so we have new names

 

minhyuk montague: hang on i got one for hyunwoo

 

_minhyuk montague has renamed hyunwoo montague, bread dealer!_

 

bread dealer: hmu if you need anything

 

bread dealer: i got wheat, whole grain, white, sour dough, rye

 

bread dealer: you name it, ive got it

 

youngjae montague: oh god

 

_changkyun montague has renamed minhyuk montague, dolphin!_

 

dolphin: true lmao

 

yugyeom montague: can we just take a moment to admire how good changkyun looks???

 

yugyeom montague: he looks like a badass fairy

 

yugyeom montague: oh shit wait 

 

_yugyeom montague has renamed changkyun montague, badass fairy!_

 

_badass fairy has renamed yugyeom montague, overgrown carrot stick!_

 

_jaebum montague has renamed youngjae montague, cucumber is not my type!_

 

cucumber is not my type: i hate you

 

jaebum montague: i love you too

 

jimin montague: okay then

 

dolphin: cucumber is disgusting >:(

 

cucumber is not my type: thank you!

 

dolphin: ofc

 

dolphin: man, i got u!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehehehe i swear that things will get better
> 
> the title is from a camp song


	13. jin doesn't need a rich man, jimin is a rascal, and taehyung has bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taehyung montague: i dont think that's how you use a coffee maker
> 
> taehyung montague: OH SHIT 
> 
> taehyung montague: wrong chat :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short but sweet!

_[The Montagues!]_

 

 **badass fairy:** wait

 

 **badass fairy:** if we're supposed to be the montagues

 

 **badass fairy:** doesnt that mean that one of us has to die?

 

 **badass fairy:** or at the very least, fall in love with someone in the other chat?

 

 **cuccumber is not my type:** five of us are dating someone in the other chat, so like... that doesn't work

 

 **badass fairy:** oh my god what if someone proposes to someone in the other chat?!

**dolphin:** my money is on hyunwoo

 

 **bread dealer:** im not going to propose to kihyun yet

 

 **dolphin:** yet o.o

 

 **bread dealer:** *while this is going on

 

 **dolphin:** party pooper

 

 **badass fairy:** every party needs a pooper, and that's why I added you

 

 **overgrown carrot stick:** stop with the stupid references

 

 **bambam montague:** your face is a stupid reference

 

_jaebum montague has changed bambam montague's name to your face is a stupid reference!_

 

 **your face is a stupid reference:** really?

 

 **jaebum montague:** someone had to do it

 

 **your face is a stupid reference:** *narrows eyes*

 

 **taehyung montague:** i dont think that's how you use a coffee maker

 

 **taehyung montague:** OH SHIT

 

 **taehyung montague:** wrong chat :)

 

 **jin montague:** what the hell are you doing? and who was that meant for???

 

 **taehyung montague:** no one

 

 **taehyung montague:** no need to worry

 

 **jin montague:** anything involving you and a coffee maker not being used the way it should be is definitely a cause for concern

 

 **namjoon montague:** so why is jungkook singing I'm The Queen Of The Castle and twerking?

 

 **taehyung:** rELEASE THE BITCHES! WOOF!

 

 **jin montague:** ...

 

 **namjoon montague:** you're stronger than this jin

 

 **jin montague:** i'm really not

 

 **jin montague:** and we all have stupid names

 

 **badass fairy:** hey!

 

_jin montague has changed taehyung montague's name to rELEASE THE BITCHES!_

 

 **rELEASE THE BITCHES:** im not surprised

 

 **rELEASE THE BITCHES:** i asked for this i suppose

 

 **jin montague:** you really did

 

_rELEASE THE BITCHES has changed jin montague's name to no one tells me i need a rich man!_

 

 **no one tells me i need a rich man:** what the fuck

 

 **badass fairy:**...

 

 **badass fairy:** DOING MY THING IN MY PALACE IN RICHMOND!

 

 **namjoon montague:** whyyyy

 

 **rELEASE THE BITCHES:** iM THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE~~~~ COME ON JIMINIE JOIN US

 

 **jimin montague:** this wont turn out good but fine

 

 **jimin montague:** GET DOWN YOU DIRTY RASCAL!!!!!!!!!

 

_no one tells me i need a rich man has changed jimin montague's name to dirty rascal!_

 

 **dirty rascal:** yeah im not surprised in the least

 

 **jaebum montague:** hahaha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song that inspired this interesting chapter is called I'm The Queen Of The Castle, and it's by SIX! I suggest you listen to it! It's super good!
> 
> OOH AND LISTEN TO JAYMES YOUNG BECAUSE HIS MUSIC IS LITERALLY SO GOOD?????


	14. so things get better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think we've even heard from the "Capulet" group chat lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda stretched this one lmao

_[The Montagues!]_

 

**dolphin:** i have a bad idea

 

**bread dealer:** you have my permission to execute it

 

**dolphin:** sweeeet ;)

 

_[bread dealer and not_a_real_hamster!]_

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** i know for a fact that it's your fault minhyuk is currently on my roof with a toaster and a fork

 

**bread dealer** **:** oh i thought he was gonna send someone a text not do something like that

 

**bread dealer:** you're right this is my fault

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** exactly

 

**bread dealer:** before you go

 

**bread dealer:** I'm sorry for all this 

 

**bread dealer:** i wish we weren't all fighting

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** me too

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** it's kind of stupid

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** and, no matter how crazy it sounds, i miss everyone

 

**bread dealer:** me too 

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** do you wanna... watch a movie with me tonight?

 

**bread dealer:** aww sure <3

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** <3

 

_[The Montagues!]_

 

**mr. montague:** I DONE FUCKED UP

 

**overgrown carrot stick:** wdym?

 

**mr. montague:** w/ mark :C

 

**badass fairy:** aww jackson

 

**cuccumber is not my type:** so can i change my name?

 

**badass fairy:** no, embrace hte typo

 

**dolphin:** it's okay! you both misunderstood and overreacted

 

**mr. montague:** :C but i should have talked to him more

 

**dirty rascal:** stop beating yourself up about it! if you want you can try to talk to him

 

**rELEASE THE BITCHES:** ^^^^

 

**overgrown carrot stick:** vry true! 

 

**no one tells me i need a rich man:** but if you still need time then no one will blame you

 

**your face is a stupid reference:** it's true hyung, we all care about you and wont mind, and we'll help you if you do decide to try to talk to him

 

**mr. montague:** thanks guys

 

_mr. montague has changed their name to grateful puppy!_

 

**grateful puppy:** <333

 

**namjoon montague:** aww <33

 

**namjoon montague:** so what did minhyuk do?

 

**dolphin:** do you really wanna know?

 

**namjoon montague:** well yes, but actually no

 

_badass fairy has changed namjoon montague's name to well yes, but actually no!_

 

**well yes, but actually no:** really?

 

 

_[The Capulets!]_

 

**Single Pringle:** uh so i've been threatened and i don't know what to do

 

**bananafofanna:** what happened???

 

**Single Pringle:** he-who-must-not-be-named messaged me and said that if i didn't talk to him them he'd force youngjae to keep coco away from me

 

**cheeky monkey:** YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM FOR COCO'S SAKE

 

**cheeky monkey:** OH MY GOD PLEASE MAREK

 

**Single Pringle:** aww but-

 

**Eomma:** he's already decided to, he loves that dog more than he loves himself

 

**bananafofanna:** keep us posted

 

 

_[puppywang and markle the sharkle!]_

 

**markle the sharkle:** fine what do you want

 

**markle the sharkle:** i'll give you five minutes

 

**puppywang:** irst off, i wante d to say i'm sorry for maknig y0ou upset!

 

**puppywang:** and i'm sorrhy that i diudnt realize youj felt thnat way!

 

**puppywang:** i know yhou wont fcorgive me quite hyet b ut i want you to know that ik stioll really really love you and i hope thatf we can someday wokr this out and shit b ecauyse i dont know what id dco if i really did lose you forever

 

**markle the sharkle:** jackson

 

**markle the sharkle:** you still have three minutes

 

**puppywang:** oh

 

**markle the sharkle:** im sorry for being so angry

 

**markle the sharkle:** im also sorry for jumping to conclusiobns

 

**markle the sharkle:** its not okay that you diodnt listen to me, but its not okay that i didn't listen to you

 

**markle the sharkle:** i think that if we put this behind us and learn from our mistakes, then we can work out

 

**puppywang:** areally??

 

**markle the sharkle:** mhm

 

**markle the sharkle:** lets starrt iwth this lol

 

 

_[markle the sharkle created a new chat!]_

 

_[markle the sharkle named it minhyuk protection squad™!]_

 

_[markle the sharkle has added puppywang, jooniper, not_a_real_hamster, iamwhatiam, woopwoop, bunbun, gyeomie, bammie, wonton94, minikitkat, joohoney, kookie monster, cup of tae, cube of suga, chim chim, your hope, mama jin, baby otter, jjp pt1, and jjp pt2!]_

 

**kookie monster:** who tf is jjp pt1 and jjp pt2?

 

**gyeomie:** jinyoung hyung and jaebum hyung

 

**baby otter:** its an inside thing

 

**minikitkat:** aww all of our names are so cute!

 

**minikitkat:** but i do take offense at the name of the chat

 

**markle the sharkle:** not my idea, it was kihyun's

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** for a good reason

 

**jooniper:** okay, just to check, 

markle the sharkle: mark

jooniper: namjoon

gyeomie: yugyeom

bammie: bambam

your hope: hoseok

bunbun: hoseok

jjp's: jinyoung and jaebum

baby otter: youngjae

minikitkat: minhyuk

kookie monster: jungkook

not_a_real_hamster: kihyun

woopwoop: hyunwoo

iamwhatiam: chankgyun

chimchim: jimin

cube of suga: yoongi

cup of tae: taehyung

mama jin: seokjin

 

**cup of tae:** yeah basically

 

**iamwhatiam:** wait so why does taehyung and yoongi's names match, but jimin and hoseok's don't?

 

**cube of suga:** its a thing

 

**chimchim:** we just roll with it

 

**your hope:** ^^

 

**gyeomie:** uh ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so guess who's back lmao!
> 
> yep, I'm back! I feel a lot better lately! all the things I had to worry about are pretty much over so yeah that's pretty great! i've finished exams 'n such lol
> 
> i'm so sorry lmao
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this after the time I've been gone! i'm super glad to come back to writing it! and this has almost 1,000 hits???? ahhhhh!!!!
> 
> remember to give this kudos if you like it and bookmark it if you want to stay tuned!


	15. parakeet? more like paraYEET!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **cube of suga:** he threw his bird
> 
>  **not_a_real_hamster:** he what?
> 
>  **cube of suga:** he. threw. his. bird.
> 
>  **mama jin:** i guess its not a parakeet anymore
> 
>  **jooniper:** don't say it
> 
>  **mamajin:** its a parayeet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgot to add notes lmao
> 
> this is just kind of a things i decided to (para)yeet into existence. actually, my friend showed me a meme that was parakeet/parayeet and i thought it was funny enough to make a chapter for
> 
> hope y'all enjoy!

_[minhyuk protection squad™!]_

 

 **iamwhatiam:** i got a bird

 

 **chimchim:** aww what does it look like?

 

 **iamwhatiam:**

 

 **kookie monster:** it's pretty!

 

 **iamwhatiam:** mhm! i'm at the park rn w/ hyunwoo, yoongi, and hyungwon

 

 **wonton94:** it's better in person

 

 **woopwoop:** when it isn't biting you

 

 **wonton94:** tru

 

 **iamwhatiam:** he's getting used to his new home, give him a break

 

 **gyeomie:** what's his name?

 

 **iamwhatiam:** i named him honey after jooheon

 

 **joohoney:** baby <3

 

 **iamwhatiam:** <3

 

 **bammie:** ew that's gay

 

 **gyeomie:** bambam we've been dating for several months now

 

 **bammie:** dude thats gay too

 

 **markle the sharkle:** hELP

 

 **minikitkat:** what's wrong?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i"M BEING ATTACKED

 

 **baby otter:** false, you are being loved

 

 **bunbun:** what happened??

 

 **jjp pt2:** he was tackled by jackson

 

 **puppywang:** ilysm markles

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i'd say that too but you're crushing my lungs

 

 **puppywang:** sowwy uwu

 

 **wonton94:** cursed

 

 **your hope:** lol

 

 **iamwhatiam:** Houston, we have a problem. 

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** what happened??

 

 **cube of suga:** he threw his bird

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** he what?

 

 **cube of suga:** he. threw. his. bird.

 

 **mama jin:** i guess its not a parakeet anymore

 

 **jooniper:** don't say it

 

 **mamajin:** its a parayeet

 

 **kookie monster:** i'm gonna go jump off of a cliff

 

 **cup of tae:** don't do that. it's bad for your health

 

 **minikitkat:** nd your family will be disappointed

 

 **jjp pt1:** are we just going to ignore the fact that he THREW his bird?

 

 **iamwhatiam:** don't be dumb, jinyoung. hes a bird. he can fly

 

 **jjp pt1:** can i use that excuse when i drop kick you out a window?

 

 **jjp pt2:** only if it's on the third floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've decided to give myself an updating schedule so that i don't forget about this. i'm going to upload once a week, on mondays! (so today) 
> 
> should be easy to remember, so yeah!
> 
> don't forget to give this kudos if you like it (or don't. i do that all the time lmao), book mark this if you want to keep up with updates, and comment if you want!


	16. i don't even know what this is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **cube of suga:** im gonna go drown myself in the kitchen sink
> 
>  **chimchim:** i'll grab the bath bombs
> 
>  **your hope:** ill get the candles then
> 
>  **minikitkat:** what kind of satanic ritual is this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the line, "i've been thinkin' 'bout my life" is from a 3RACHA song. 3RACHA doesn't exist in this AU. that's all i have to say, lmfao
> 
> oh, wait, one more thing. i've decided to post early! WHOO HOO! yeah , i wrote this last night, and was like, idk if i'll post it now or just wait until monday... but i decided to post it. h
> 
> ope y'all enjoy~

_[minhyuk protection squad™]_

**wonton94:** i been thinkin' 'bout my life

 

 **gyeomie:** that doesn't even exist in this universe tho

 

 **kookie monster:** wtf does that mean

 

 **puppywang:** ARE WE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME??

 

 **jjp pt1:** that's why

 

 **puppywang:** well then why did bambam tape a four onto the wall? hes even got a hammer

 

 **jjp pt1:** BAMBAM DON'T YOU DARE SMASH MY WALL

 

 **bammie:** its okay im rich, i can pay for it

 

 **jjp pt1:** THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU PERSMISSION

 

 **mama jin:** guys im making jinhit a reality

 

 **cup of tae:** wrong universe hyung

 

 **mama jin:** well it has to happen in SOME universe!

 

 **kookie monster:**  wtf is happening?????

 

 **jooniper:** tbh i thought id be the first one to break the fourth wall

 

 **minikitkat:** doesnt that remind you of whe-

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** no no no we are not universe jumping

 

 **iamwhatiam:** that's not a thing tho???

 

 **bunbun:** i wouldn't even question it

 

 **baby otter:** yeah this is probably just a fabricated conversation that doesn't make any sense, that's meant to be funny, but has no humorous points whatsoever, due to the fact that everyone is too confused to make heads or tails of the situation.

 

 **chimchim:** did he just?

 

 **jjp pt2:** shhh we don't question it

 

 **jjp pt2:** ever

 

 **mama jin:** yeah just think of him as taehyung in this moment

 

 **chimchim:** oh okay

 

 **joohoney:** is he your equivalent of minhyuk?

 

 **chimchim:** maybe? idk?

 

 **gyeomie:** okay but can we talk about how hawt i am rn?

 

 **bammie:** i see no difference ;)

 

 **gyeomie:** :C

 

 **your hope:** *sighs*

 

 **markle the sharkle:** *face palms*

 

 **woopwoop:** smh

 

 **gyeomie:** what???

 

 **jjp pt1:** sweetie, he was complimenting you

 

 **baby otter:** basically he is saying that you look hot all the time

 

 **gyeomie:** really????

 

 **bammie:** yES

 

 **gyeomie:** <3333333 thx bby

 

 **bammie:** welcum bby

 

 **cube of suga:** im gonna go drown myself in the kitchen sink

 

 **chimchim:** i'll grab the bath bombs

 

 **your hope:** ill get the candles then

 

 **minikitkat:** what kind of satanic ritual is this?

 

 **wonton94:** a beautiful one

 

 **wonton94:** that's all folks

 

 **markle the sharkle:** 1: sTOP, 2: isn't that copyrighted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked this then give it kudos (or don't lmao), bookmark it if you want to keep up with updates, and feel free to comment!
> 
> listen to M.O.N.T.'s song 'Will You Be My Girlfriend?' and go check out Imfact because both groups are amazing. (I'm just saying this because i'm listening to Lollipop, which is an Imfact song lmao) Seriously tho, both groups are way too underrated.


	17. everything is better in tiny font

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **gyeomie:** yeetus yeetus, i am ᶠᵉᵗᵘˢ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof
> 
> y'all there's a skz fic that i read a while ago that was hyunjin x seungmin i believe, where hyunjin was supposed to be medusa, and it was so cute, but now i can't find it so i think it got deleted??? DX

_[minhyuk protection squad_ _™ ]_

 

 **kookie monster:** so wait

 

 **kookie monster:** who is the actual youngest here?

 

 **jjp pt1:** i believe that honor goes to yugyeom

 

 **gyeomie:** yeetus yeetus, i am ᶠᵉᵗᵘˢ 

 

 **markle the sharkle:** no tiny text, please

 

 **puppywang:** ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᶦᵗˀ

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i despite it and you now

 

 **puppywang:** D:

 

 **jooniper:** oh grreat

 

 **jooniper:** its been two seconds and he's already at my doorstep

 

 **minikitkat:** tf how did he get there that fast

 

 **puppywang:** i always pester namjoon during the day when mark is gone to work, and i dont' have school

 

 **jooniper:** unfortunately

 

 **mamajin:** i like it bc me and jackson tease namjoon for hourrs on end

 

 **jjp pt2:** family fun time

 

 **iamwhatiam:** I HAVE A BIG FUCKING PROBLEM

 

 **iamwhatiam:** i... didn't mean to send that here

 

 **wonton94:** lmao

 

 

_[i think i'm bout to sTEAL]_

 

 **kkukkungie:** as i said in the other chat

 

 **kkukkungie:** i have a big fucking problem

 

 **slowpoke:** what's the problem?

 

 **kkukkungie:** me and jooheon's anniversary is coming up soon :C

 

 **good job tae:** i thought that you guys got together not that long ago

 

 **what did we learn from this?:** yeah whats up w/ that

 

 **kkukkungie:** the anniversary of when we became friends. do y'all not celebrate that?

 

 **...dont run with flaming scissors:** uh no

 

 **kkukkungie:** *big sigh*

 

 **what did we learn from this?:** so what do you normally do?

 

 **kkukkungie:** watch all of the harry potter films in a row and binge on popcorn and candy

 

 **slowbro:** since you guys are dating now, why don't you take him out to dinner somewhere?

 

 **kkukkungie:** hmm.... okay

 

 **slowbro:** dw. we'll help you tomorrow

 

 **kkukkungie:** thx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do y'all think is in the [i think im bout to sTEAL] chat? 
> 
> also, if y'all didn't notice, three of their names go together: 
> 
> ~what did we learn from this?
> 
> ~...don't run with flaming scissors
> 
> ~good job tae
> 
> lol
> 
> and this was birthed (ew) because it's me and my gf's 1 year anniversary on the 17th and idk what to do DX
> 
> oh well lol
> 
> comment if you wanna shout at me for whatever, give this kudos if you want lel, and bookmark this if you'd like to keep up w/ updates


	18. forgot to add a cool title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **saddest baby:** i dont want to be here
> 
>  
> 
> **fakest baby:** hUSH GREGORY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason this is late is because i fell asleep while editing what i had (yes i sometimes edit these actually), and when i woke up i realized that my computer had shut off and that everything i had written was erased 
> 
> -_-

_[i think i'm bout to sTEAL]_

 

**slowpoke** : so

 

**kkukkungie** : so

 

**what did we learn from this?:** what is our (and by our i mean your) first step? you need to think this thru

 

**slowbro:** tru

 

**what did we learn from this?:** you can't just go up to him and say, "hey lets go out to dinner". that's not cool. you have to... idk be more romantic abt it

 

**good job tae:** who knew kookie would be a romantic?

 

**...don't run with flaming scissors:** I knew uwu

 

**kkukkungie** : cursed

 

**...don't run with flaming scissors:** and i- oop

 

**what did we learn from this?:** double cursed

 

**slowpoke:** sksksksksks

 

**slowbro:** pls no

 

**slowpoke:** sAVE THE TURTLES

 

**kkukkungie** : enough w/ the vsco girl jokes

 

**slowbro** : so what are you gonna do?

 

**kkukkungie:** i guess i'll just do what i normally do when i ask if he wants to go on a date?

 

**good job tae:** what's that??

 

**kkukkungie:** buy him his favorite drink and write a note on the cup lol

 

**...don't run with flaming scissors:** aww that's actually really cute

 

**slowbro:** that's pretty good actually

 

**kkukkungie:** where should i take him tho?

 

**...don't run with flaming scissors:** jungkookie took me to this super cute restaurant a week ago, you guys should go there!

 

**what did we learn from this?:** ooh yeah!

 

**kkukkungie:** oki doki

 

**slowpoke:** doki doki literature club

 

**good job tae:** triple cursed

 

_[bby boos]_

 

**biggest baby:** y'ALL

 

**truest baby:** wHAT

 

**biggest baby:** hYUNGWON TOOK ME TO A RAMEN SHOP AND I LOVE HIM

 

**babyest baby:** aWWW HOW CUTE

 

**fakest baby:** tHAT'S NICE

 

**biggest baby:** wHY DO Y'ALL KEEP MAKING FUN OF ME

 

**truest baby:** bC WE LUV U

 

**saddest baby:** i dont want to be here

 

**fakest baby:** hUSH GREGORY

 

**saddest baby:** what

 

**saddest baby:** wtf are you talking abt hoseok?

 

**fakest baby** : have you never seen that?

 

**saddest baby:** no 

 

**saddest baby:** not everyone is yugyeom or jungkook

 

**truest baby:** hEY!

 

**weirdest baby:** on behalf of my bf, hEY!

 

**babyest baby:** tHERE'S A REVOLUTION COMING

 

**biggest baby:** tHAT'S WHAT SHE/HE/THEY SAID

 

**fakest baby:** tbh you could have left out the he/they

 

**truest baby:** bUT WE DO LOVE A WOKE KING

 

**weirdest baby:** sO WHY AER WE TALKING LIKE THIS

 

**biggest baby:** they're clowning me :C

 

**weirdest baby:** aww poor thing

 

**weirdest baby:** hold on lemme just...

 

_weirdest baby has added minikitkat!_

 

_weirdest baby has changed minikitkat's name to sunniest baby!_

 

**weirdest baby:** there! now you can have minhyuk to cheer you up!

 

**sunniest baby:** uh what is this and who's here?

 

**weirdest baby:** im just taehyung lol

 

**weirdest baby:** and this is for all the bby boos in our friendgroup(s)

 

**sunniest baby** : oh

 

**biggest baby:** mINHYUKIE THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME

 

**sunniest baby:** hoseok?

 

**biggest baby:** *sNIFF*

 

**sunniest baby:** yep

 

**sunniest baby:** iT'S OKAY HOSEOKIE I LOVE YOU

 

**fakest baby:** aHHHHHHHHHH

 

**fakest baby:** im other hoseok btw

 

**truest baby:** yeetus yeetus i am fetus

 

**sunniest baby:** so yugyeom?

 

**truest baby:** screehaw

 

**babyest baby:** yeah lol 

 

**babyest baby:** youngjae

 

**sunniest baby:** sweet!

 

**busiest baby:** gUYS IM GONNA DIE

 

**truest baby:** what's up jooheon???

 

**busiest baby:** chANKGYUN ASKED ME ON A DATE FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY

 

**sunniest baby:** dont you guys normally just binge watch harry potter?

 

**busiest baby:** yeah but his note said that he wanted it to be more special bc in addition to being his best friend, i'm now his bf :)

 

**fakest baby:** anniversary?

 

**saddest baby:** didn't you guys get together not that long ago? how can it already be your anniversary?

 

**biggest baby:** they celebrate when they first became friends

 

**busiest baby:** mhm

 

**babyest baby:** aww thats sweet

 

**busiest baby:** mhm!

 

**busiest baby:** our date is next week feojiwhgoijr

 

**truest baby:** are you nervous??

 

**busiest baby:** yeah is that weird?

 

**saddest baby:** nah that's pretty valid. i get nervous whenever i go on dates with jimin & hoseok

 

**fakest baby:** wait you do????????

 

**saddest baby:** yea lel

 

_fakest baby has added chimchim!_

_fakest baby has changed chimchim's name to originalest baby!_

 

**originalest baby:** uh what?

 

**fakest baby:** scroll up. yoongi is saddest baby

 

**originalest baby:** aw

 

**saddest baby:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

**truest baby:** omg its the gay 'h'

 

**truest baby:** i've never seen one up close like this

 

**busiest baby:** so can we get back to the matter at hand?!

 

**biggest baby:** dw abt anything heonie! we'll help you! uwu

 

**originalest baby:** omg quadruple cursed!

 

**saddest baby:** what

 

**originalest baby:** nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week will be them getting ready for their date (and an extra part with the eldest members) and then we'll finally get to their date! sorry it's taking so long lmao
> 
> give this kudos if you want, bookmark it to keep up with updates, and comment if you wanna yell at me :P


	19. no one knows about mark's dark secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **fakest baby:**  not only did yoongi show some1 affection, jimin dropped an f-bomb!
> 
>  
> 
>  **truest baby:** he curses all the time tho?
> 
>  
> 
>  **saddest baby:**  wait what
> 
>  
> 
>  **fakest baby:**  ^^^^^^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an early christmas present
> 
> or if you don't celebrate christmas, its just a present
> 
> enjoy lmao

_[i think i'm bout to sTEAL]_

 

 **kkukkungie:** i won't have to dress up too much, right??

 

 **what did we learn from this?:** no you wont

 

 **what did we learn from this?:** and stop being so nervous. act natural

 

 **slowpoke:** nervous is his natural

 

 **kkukkungie:** thanks yugyeom

 

 **slowpoke:** yw

 

 **slowbro:** okay now show us what you plan on wearing

 

 **good job tae:** ooh fabulous fashionista bambam is here

 

 **...don't run with flaming scissors:** jimminie what XD

 

**kkukkungie:**

 

 **slowbro:** aww you look cute

 

 **kkukkungie:** T^T thank u

 

_[bby boos]_

 

 **biggest baby:** what are you weraring tongiht heonnie?

 

 **saddest baby:** ew fix ur spelling

 

 **babyest baby:** wait did yoongi just use "ur"????

 

 **fakest baby:** omg

 

 **truest baby:** first a real life gay h and now this

 

 **truest baby:** okay who broke him?

 

 **busiest baby:** ignoring that, i'm wearing this!

 

**busiest baby:**

 

 **weirdest baby:** omg yES

 

 **busiest baby:** im so nervous tho >M<

 

 **sunniest baby:** y?

 

 **busiest baby:** bc what if i embarrass myself :C

 

 **biggest baby:** need i remind you that you have literally pretended to be a girl with him?

 

 **biggest baby:** i dont think you'll embarrass yourself

 

 **busiest baby:** ig so

 

 **saddest baby:** youll do fine

 

 **babyest baby:** OH MY LITERAL GOD

 

 **originalest baby:** hoLY FUCk

 

 **fakest baby:** shit!

 

 **fakest baby:** not only did yoongi show some1 affection, jimin dropped an f-bomb!

 

 **truest baby:** he curses all the time tho?

 

 **saddest baby:** wait what

 

 **fakest baby:** ^^^^^^^^

 

 **babyest baby:** its tru tho

 

 **weirdest baby:** yeah just ask jungkook lmao

 

 **busiest baby:** um anyways i appreciate it yoongi-hyung

 

 **saddest baby:** finally someone shows me some respect

 

 **saddest baby:** thats why im nice to him

 

 **sunniest baby:** wow

 

_[old person home]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i still despise the name of our chat

 

 **mama jin:** dont we all

 

 **woopwoop:** you're the one that named it 

 

 **mama jin:** oh yeah

 

_mama jin has renamed the chat [cool parents club]!_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i dont like this one either 

 

 **markle the sharkle:** make me admin

 

 **mama jin:** fine

 

_markle the sharkle has become an admin!_

_markle the sharkle has renamed the chat [great old ones]!_

 

 **mama jin:** no

 

_mama jin has renamed the chat [petition to kick mark]!_

_markle the sharkle is no longer an admin!_

 

 **woopwoop:** looks like you rolled a nat 1 on that one mark

 

 **markle the sharkle:** it would seem so

 

 **mama jin:** so

 

 **mama jin:** have we decided what we are going to do?

 

 **woopwoop:** no we still havent agreed, remember?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i still stand by my suggestion

 

 **mama jin:** while that would be funny. we don't have a lake near enough

 

 **mama jin:** and how are we going to move 18 people into a lake, whILE THEY'RE SLEEPING?

 

 **woopwoop:** what if we all go camping together

 

 **woopwoop:** split into three groups

 

 **woopwoop:** nd we each play a prank on our group?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** can i please have jackson

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i want to dunk him in a lake

 

 **mama jin:** can you still manage that by yourself?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** youd be surprised

 

 **markle the sharkle:** besides, i have my ways

 

 **woopwoop:** okay then

 

 **woopwoop:** give me a minute and i'll figure out the teams

 

 **mama jin:** coolio then

 

 **markle the sharkle:** ew

 

 **woopwoop:** here

 

my group: changkyung, jimin, namjoon, jungkook, bambam, taehyung

jin's group: hoseok, wonho, minhyuk, jooheon, hyungwon, jinyoung

mark's group: jaebum, kihyun, youngjae, yugyeom, yoongi, jackson

 

 **mama jin:** good luck with that mark

 

 **markle the sharkle:** anyways, what are you guys gonna do then?

 

 **mama jin:** make cookies, what else?

 

 **woopwoop:** are you going to replace the salt w/ sugar?

 

 **mama jin:** nah, they'd expect that

 

 **mama jin:** i'm going to add vinegar

 

 **markle the sharkle:** what will you do, hyunwoo?

 

 **woopwoop:** it'll be a surprise. but you'll see. trust me :)

 

 **mama jin:** that's scary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week will be chankgyun and jooheon's date, and we might see more of what the eldest members are planning lol
> 
> hope you guys liked this, and i hope your week is a good one!
> 
> happy holidays!
> 
> don't forget to give kudos if you want, comment if you have things to yell at me for, and bookmark to keep up with updates!


	20. they're going on a trip, but they still don't know it yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu talk abt the dead chat, jookyun's date, and then the planned camping trip (though it's not been announced yet)
> 
> also, when reading the title, sing it to the tune of "Little Einsteins" ;)))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry DX (I WILL STILL POST TOMORROW!!! BC IT'S SUNDAY FOR ME))
> 
> the reason this is so late is bc our internet was like, nah fam i'm out
> 
> and didn't come back until wednesday T^T
> 
> and thursday i did some babysitting and looking up cake recipes!
> 
> friday was a bday celebration (not mine)
> 
> and saturday was going to watch the new frozen movie! it was actually not that bad?? and our movie theater has heated seats so-

_[minhyuk protection squad™]_

 

 **cup of tae:** it's been a loooong day, without you my chat

 

 **iamwhatiam:** i'll tell you all about it when i text here again

 

 **markle the sharkle:** WE'VE COME A LOOOOONG WAY, BEFORE THIS WENT DEAD

 

 **kookie monster:** oh i'll tell you all about it when i text here again :')

 

 **your hope:** *sheds a tear*

 

 **jooniper:** okay... so changkyun how's ur date going ;)

 

 **iamwhatiam:** good, good

 

 **iamwhatiam:** jUST OVER HERE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** why?

 

 **iamwhatiam:** well, you see, there's this thing called jOOHEON 

 

 **iamwhatiam:** which may or may not give me extrememe gay paniccc

 

 **puppywang:** he protecc, he attacc, but most importantly...

 

 **mamajin:** he lilacc

 

 **gyeomie:** i am: disGUSTED

 

 **bammie:** bitch, DISGOSTING

 

 **bunbun:** B-I-C-T-H

 

 **wonton94:** us christian kids dont say the b word

 

 **wonton94:** we say bicth bc is sounds better with a lisp

 

 **wonton94:** no offense to bby wonho, or anyone with a lisp

 

 **joohoney:** wow, hyungwon not out to offend anyone? today is our lucky day!

 

 **iamwhatiam:** oh shit i forgot you were in this chat

 

 **joohoney:** we're sitting next to each other, holding hands, and my head is on your shoulder

 

 **joohoney:** sweetie, i can see everything anyways

 

 **cube of suga:** oh so you can see his snake?

 

 **baby otter:** YOONGI! 

 

 **baby otter:** i mean i expect that from jungkook or maybe bambam

 

 **baby otter:** but you??

 

 **chimchim:** you have no idea

 

 **jjp pt1:** 👀

 

 **chimchim:** I DIDN"T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

 

 **jjp pt2:** mhm...

 

 **chimchim:** i swear!

 

 **wonton94:** please don't swear in htis christian household

 

_[petition to kick mark]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** rnt u guys excited to suggest spending an entire weekend in the wilderness w/ these idiots?

 

 **mamajin:** i'm so thrilled

 

 **mamajin:** i have an entire meal plan made

 

 **mamajin:** and the only things we'll be eating involve copious amounts of olive oil, cookie dough, instant ramen, lots of cucumber, and the spiciest peppers i could find

 

 **woopwoop:** sounds lovely

 

 **markle the sharkle:** and what might your plan be, o lovely hyunwoo?

 

 **woopwoop:** so you know mortem peak?

 

 **mamajin:** the trail that's famous for being the hardest one in the country?

 

 **woopwoop:** that's my group's destination

 

 **markle the sharkle:** omg satan pls teach me ur ways

 

 **woopwoop:** with great power comes great responsibility

 

 **woopwoop:** which mainly means i have to make sure that they all have a terrible time, but that they don't die

 

 **mamajin:** that would put a damper on the outing

 

 **markle the sharkle:** tru dat, tru dat

 

 **mamajin:** so mark how are you gonna get them all into the lake?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** pls jin a magician never reveals his secret

 

 **markle the sharkle:** besides, you'll see it elsewhere ;)

 

 **woopwoop:**??

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i won't say anything other than watch for instagram updates from me :))))))

 

 **markle the sharkle:** oh and i modified the prank a little 

 

 **mamajin:** ooh boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the 'mortem peak' thing is just a random name i chose bc idk any actual trails in korea and idrc at this point
> 
> y'all already know what imma say but imma say it anyways: 
> 
> ~comment if y'all wanna yell at me (bc same tho)  
> ~kudos if you liked this and you're not awkward like me  
> ~bookmark if you wanna know when this shit updates


	21. i'm in the closet and the door is locked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **mamajin:** good morning my lovely children
> 
> **kookie monster:**  rise and shine fuckers
> 
> **mamajin:**  he gets it from yoongi
> 
> **cube of suga:**  probably
> 
> **jooniper:** there is no probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOWHEE 
> 
> have y'all seen my fairy fox roommate? bC DAMN THEM FAIRY FOX BOIS CAN GET IT! i'm sorry XD

_[minhyuk protection squad™]_

 

**mamajin:** good morning my lovely children

 

**kookie monster:** rise and shine fuckers

 

**mamajin:** he gets it from yoongi

 

**cube of suga:** probably

 

**jooniper:** there is no probably

 

**joohoney:** i'm not ur child

 

**mamajin:** good morning my lovely nephew

 

**joohoney:** wait so are you hyunwoo's brother, or kihyun's brother?

 

**mamajin:** yes

 

**iamwhatiam:**???

 

**iamwhatiam:** dad wtf are they talking about

 

**woopwoop:** i'll tell you when you're older son

 

**bunbun:** *sheds a tear*

 

**mamajin:** anyWAYS as i was about to say,

 

**mamajin:** would all 20 of you like to go on a camping trip?

 

**wonton94:** camping? with you guys? interacting? getting dirty? no thanks

 

**woopwoop:** he means yes

 

**wonton94:** no i dont!

 

**not_a_real_hamster:** sounds fun

 

**markle the sharkle:** me, hyunwoo, and jin talked about this already and we decided that we'd split into three groups

 

**gyeomie:** i have a bad feeling about this

 

**markle the sharkle:** my group will be  jaebum, kihyun, youngjae, yugyeom, yoongi, and jackson

 

**gyeomie:** how did i know smth would happen

 

**puppywang:** why am i last on that list???

 

**woopwoop:** my group is changkyung, jimin, namjoon, jungkook, bambam, and taehyung

 

**iamwhatiam:** yes papi ;)

 

**kookie monster:** ooh my papi is in our group too ;))))

 

**chimchim:** r/suddenlygay

 

**jjp pt2:** it's not r/suddenlygay if they've been gay this entire time

 

**mamajin:**...and i'm taking hoseok, wonho, minhyuk, jooheon, hyungwon, and jinyoung!

 

**your hope:**!! that means good food!!

 

**baby otter:** i'm excited!~

 

 

_[petition to kick mark]_

 

**markle the sharkle:** did anyone else's heart just break?

 

**mamajin:** into a million pieces

 

**woopwoop:** you better pack lots of tissues 

 

**markle the sharkle:** yeah i'm just hoping they all still like me after this XD

 

**mamajin:** that's a bit alarming lol

 

**woopwoop:** well, i know i'm gonna get a cold shoulder from kyun, jimin might cry idk, i feel like jungkook bambam and taehyung might retaliate

 

**mamajin:** count on jimin crying

 

**markle the sharkle:** and sleep with one eye open. those three are lethal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm stressing over something so i apologize if this chapter suffered because of that :C
> 
> next week we'll finally see the pranks in action! then the aftermath XD
> 
> anyways, as usual, comment if ya wanna yell at me, kudos if you wanna, and bookmark to keep up w/ this crap :P


	22. Packing for Hell: The Prologue to The Camping Trip of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Featherfang Friendlyface:**  i hate everything about this trip that they're making us go on
> 
>  
> 
> **Silentstud Subtlebone:** i hate everything about your name
> 
>  
> 
> **Featherfang Friendlyface:**  and you think I dont?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is early because i was bored lmao!
> 
> but i'm still posting on monday! it's saturday for me, so lol
> 
> hope you enjoy this little bit before the actual thing starts XD

_[furries]_

 

**Featherfang Friendlyface:** i hate everything about this trip that they're making us go on

 

**Silentstud Subtlebone:** i hate everything about your name

 

**Featherfang Friendlyface:** and you think I dont?

 

**Fabiad:** seriously, who's idea was this anyways???

 

**Darkcrown Nicetail:** Minhyuks 

 

**Cwugen:** guilty as charged XD

 

**Cwugen:** and what is your reason for hating everything about this trip, hyungwonnie?

 

**Featherfang Friendlyface:** physical activity

 

**Fabiad:** may i once again ask why this is my name?

 

**Cwugen:** no you may not, dear wonho

 

**Darkcrown Nicetail:** we've all just accepted it at this point

 

**Silentstud Subtlebone:** i havent :C

 

**Featherfang Friendlyface:** yeah. jackson cannot be considered silent or subtle

 

**Darkcrown Nicetail:** well maybe he was going for the opposite?

 

**Fabiad:** No wonder your name has 'nice' in it.

 

**Darkcrown Nicetail:** i didn't raise you with my own two hands just to be dsrespected like this

 

**Fabiad:** you didn't raise me, kihyun

 

**Cwugen:** lmao

 

 

_[big brain time :P]_

 

**IQ over 9000:** do we have everything we need?

 

**shake it:** i think so. jaebum did you get the things i asked you to get

 

**nora's dad:** yes i put them in the kitchen

 

**baby brain:** i put all the first aide kits in hyunwoo-hyung's car

 

**IQ over 9000:** ah thanks changkyun!

 

 

_[petition to kick mark]_

 

**mama jin:** okay so i put all of the food items in my fridge. i've got things for the two of you as well, and i made sure to tell hoseok to bring a cooler since he's the only reliable one

 

**markle the sharkle:** i got all of the items i need :)))) 

 

**woopwoop:** i'm ready too. i've also packed plenty of painkillers because God knows that someone is going to sprain their ankle or something

 

**mama jin:** me and mark look so nice compared to you TWT

 

**markle the sharkle:** i dunno. i might steal the title of meanest pranker

 

**mama jin:** ugh i'm so curious!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oeijfiowhg my gf stopped messaging me and deactivated her acct and then reactivated it??
> 
> anywho, comment if you got stuff to say, give kudos if you liked this, and bookmark to keep up with updates!


	23. The Camping Trip of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _your hope has changed the chat's name to [i fucking trusted you]!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is! the day we've all been waiting for!!!!!

_[minhyuk protection squad™]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** we leavning in 20 min

 

 **baby otter:** omw!!!

 

 **puppywang:** aijgeowrijgiorwjg y'all i feel like smth is gonna happen

 

 **markle the sharkle:** what?

 

 **puppywang:** you offered to let me sit in the front w/ you

 

 **puppywang:** you literally never do that

 

 **markle the sharkle:** we're actually going somewhere that isn't far away

 

 **gyeommie:** where??

 

 **markle the sharkle:** you know that lake that's abt an hour away?

 

 **cube of suga:** is that where we're camping?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** yep!!

 

 **baby otter:** oh yay!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

_[petition to kick mark]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** does anyone wnat him>?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i cnat

 

 **woopwoop:** you must stay strong

 

 **mama jin:** blame hyunwoo for putting him in your group

 

 **woopwoop:** i randomized it using a list generator

 

 **mama jin:** blame technology

 

 

_[furries]_

 

 **Cwugen:** i'm going to have so much fun putting pinecones in people's sleeping bags

 

 **Featherfang Friendlyface:** somebody take "cwugen" i don't want it

 

 **Cwugen:** thats not what you said last night ;)

 

 **Fabiad:** can we, like- not

 

 **Cwugen:** we can't not

 

 **Silentstud Subtlebone:** cock-a-doodle-don't

 

 **Featherfang Friendlyface:** digerydon't

 

 **Darkcrown Nicetail:** yesn't

 

 **Fabiad:** i'm surprised kihyun joined that one

 

 **Darkcrown Nicetail:** sometimes even my standards must be lowered to speak with you peasants

 

 **Cwugen:** changkyun did you steal kihyunnie's phone again?

 

 **Darkcrown Nicetail:** no. he didn't.

 

 

_[big brain time:p]_

 

 **shake it:** okay so changkyun you're already at hyunwoo's house...

 

 **baby brain:** yep!

 

 **nora's dad:** mark made me help him set up the van so i'm where i'm supposed to be

 

 **shake it:** namjoon went with changkyun?

 

 **IQ over 9000:** actually I just arrived

 

 **baby brain:** there you are. come help me with my bags

 

 **shake it:** so we're all situated! awesome. let's have fun, and not die

 

 **nora's dad:** i second that

 

 

~~few hours later >:)~~

 

_[minhyuk protection squad™]_

 

_iamwhatiam has changed the chat's name to [hyunwoo is a dead man!]_

 

_iamwhatiam has kicked woopwoop!_

 

_iamwhatiam has blocked the chat!_

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** a lot just happened within the span of like 10 seconds

 

 **baby otter:** what did hyunwoo do to him???

 

_jungshook has added woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has kicked woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has added woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has kicked woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has added woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has kicked woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has banned woopwoop!_

 

_jungshook has left the chat!_

 

 **gyeommie:** oh my god... what the fuck did hyunwoo do???

 

 **mama jin:** talk about adding insult to injury

 

 **jooniper:** jin make sure that hoseok knows that he get's all of my belongings

 

 **jooniper:** i won't make it

 

_taeger has changed the chat's name to [:C]!_

 

_taeger has muted the chat!_

 

 **chimchim:** they're just overreacting. hyunwoo hyung is taking us on a super tough trail.

 

 **bammie:** it's not fair that you go hiking every weekend!!!!!

 

 **markle the sharkle:** one for chimmy, zero for badbad

 

 **bammie:** i feel extreme offense

 

 **mama jin:** it's about lunch time so i'll go make food!

 

 **your hope:** yay!!!!!!!

 

 **wonton94:** hell yeah

 

 **markle the sharkle:** we're just chillin' in the lake :)

 

 **jooniper:** fuckers

 

 **cube of suga:** wow you got namjoon to curse

 

 **markle the sharkle:** eh idc about his feelings rn

 

 

~~Later~~

 

_[:C]_

 

_your hope has changed the chat's name to [i fucking trusted you]!_

 

 **mama jin:** XD

 

 **mama jin:** probably shouldn't have

 

 **joohoney:** MY MOUTH IS ON FCKIBNG FIRE

 

 **wonton94:** tbh i'm glad that i brought my own food

 

 **bunbun:** me too :D

 

 **wonton94:** jin is lucky too because no one wants to deal with a crying wonho

 

 **wonton94:** if you dont start crying as well then you're inhuman 

 

 **minikitkat:** i'm gonna go shove my head into a beehive

 

 **minikitkat:** hat would hurt less then my mouth does rn

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** do. not. let. him. he can and will do exactly as he says

 

 **mama jin:** noted 

 

~~later!~~

 

_[i fucking trusted you]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** with all the shit that's gone on i think it's time to sleep. so no one else gets hurt.

 

 **puppywang:** are you going to do something while we're sleeping???

 

 **markle the sharkle:** no. i'm mean but not that mean.

 

 **baby otter:** i trust you!! <3

 

 

_[petition to kick mark]_

 

_markle the sharkle has changed the chat's name to [i really fcking hate myself]!_

 

 **mama jin:** aww poor markles

 

 **woopwoop:** stay strong

 

 

_[i fucking trusted you]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** night everyone!

 

 **markle the sharkle:** hey jaebum?

 

 **jjp pt2:** hmm?

 

 **markle the sharkle:** you brought your tablet, right?

 

 **jjp pt2:** yeah

 

 **markle the sharkle:** it has insta, right?

 

 **jjp pt2:** yeah...

 

 **markle the sharkle:** just checking...

 

 **gyeommie:** suspicious

 

~~last later i swear~~

 

_[i fcking hate myself]_

 

 **markle the sharkle:** YOUNGJAE WONT EVEN LOOK AT ME AND JACKSON LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO RIP MY EYEBALLS OUT

 

 **markle the sharkle:** AND EVEN THOUGH IT WAD FUNNY AT FIRST I REALLY REGRET THJIS NOW

 

 **markle the sharkle:** GUYS IKM HDINIG IN THE WOOIDS

 

 **mama jin:** youre on your own

 

 **markle the sharkle:** GUIREHJOGIJOIJGEWOIGJ

 

_[i fucking trusted you]_

 

_markle the sharkle has changed the chat's name to [i'm so sorry bby jae and jackson and i guess the others too even though you wont see this]!_

 

 **bunbun:** tf did you do?

 

 **mama jin:**

 

 **mama jin:** XD

 

 **bunbun:** oh i didnt see that!!!!

 

 **bunbun:** mark you absolute heathen XP

 

 **markle the sharkle:** should i give them back their real phones?

 

 **mama jin:** those were fake??

 

 **markle the sharkle:** well yah

 

 **markle the sharkle:** im not heartless

 

 **markle the sharkle:** or rich lmao

 

 **baby otter:** jinyoung-hyung i wanna go home

 

 **jjp pt1:** im sorry baby

 

 **jjp pt2:** dw jae i'll make sure mark gets what he deserves

 

 **markle the sharkle:** love and affection?

 

 **minikitkat:** a forehead kiss aka the ultimate sign of love and respect?

 

 **puppywang:** ill give mark a forehead kiss after he apologizes >:C

 

 **markle the sharkle:** im sorry bby :((((

 

 **bunbun:** kihyun texted me and said that he's going to jump in the lake

 

 **markle the sharkle:** oh

 

 **cube of suga:** i guess its skinny dipping time

 

_mama jin has added kookie monster!_

 

 **kookie monster:** ww that's it?

 

 **kookie monster:** still kinda funny, ngl

 

 **kookie monster:** but it would have been funny to see him get mad

 

 **gyeommie:** mark you're dead

 

 **markle the sharkle:** :O 

 

 **jjp pt1:** you deserve that

 

 **markle the sharkle:** i know

 

 **jjp pt1:** oh and if i ever catch who put a pinecone in my sleeping bag? i'm going to kill them

 

 **chimchim:** glad i'm not in ur group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oifewjgoirjg hope you enjoyed that lmao
> 
> anyways, the next update for this will be in February because I wanted to do something for Valentine's day. and then it's pretty much done. 
> 
> though i might do smth for ppl's birthdays if I am feeling up to the challenge!! thanks so much for reading this! i'm so happy that i got to write it!!! it was fun. iojhgiwjg
> 
> also, i'm going to FINALLY finish my got7 story, and then i'll start another chat-fic that's going to be stray kids but they're all magical which is never a good combination XD (it will have woojin in it bc fuck you jyp)


	24. happy hyungwon day lolol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **chimchim:**  taehyung i know what youre thinking. DONT DO IT
> 
>  
> 
> **cup of tae:** ...
> 
>  
> 
> **cup of tae:**  its your birthday today...
> 
>  
> 
> **jooniper:**  taeHYUNG NO
> 
>  
> 
> **cup of tae:**  everybody shout hooray...
> 
>  
> 
> **mama jin:**  taehyung pls think of hte children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon was my first bias in monsta x but then a little later i just kind of got slapped in the face with changkyun's talent so hes my bias now 
> 
> but i still love hyungwon!!! <3 happy bday!!

_minikitkat has changed the chat's name to [happy bday hyungwonnie!!]!_

 

 

**wonton94:** thanks minhyuk

 

**minikitkat:** ofc!! ily!!!

 

**bunbun:** ily too!!!

 

**wonton94:** <3

 

**kookie monster:** oh happy bday 

 

**chimchim:** taehyung i know what youre thinking. DONT DO IT

 

**cup of tae:**...

 

**cup of tae:** its your birthday today...

 

**jooniper:** taeHYUNG NO

 

**cup of tae:** everybody shout hooray...

 

**mama jin:** taehyung pls think of hte children

 

**cup of tae:** theres a cat licking your birthday cake, its your birthday today

 

**wonton94:** what

 

**gyeommie:** he cant read so he does not know that the cake is not for him

 

**iamwhatiam:** no! XD

 

**bammie:** it might be his birthday too but the chance of that is slim!

 

**wonton94:** idk what that was but i like it

 

**jjp pt1:** why did this have to happen

 

**puppywang:** many reasons

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how could i not do a chapter for hyungwon's bday???? 
> 
> y'all i love him so...
> 
> i did this lmao
> 
> kinda short but i did do smth
> 
> is it just more or does anyone look up an idol's birthday or just someone famous's birthday and then like not trust the internet even though its probably correct? lmao :P


	25. bow down to the overlord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **iamwhatiam:** uwu
> 
>  **chimchim:** quintuple cursed
> 
>  **bunbun:** wow such a throwback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday i.m!!!!
> 
> <3 aka my mx bias lel

_iamwhatiam has changed the chat's name to [ur lucky i have graced you with my presence]!_

 

 

 **kookie monster:** cocky much?

 

 **joohoney:** it's his birthday

 

 **kookie monster:** oh happy bday

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 1 down, 19 to go

 

 **bammie:** what

 

 **bammie:** happy bday kyun! i didn't know it was today!

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 2 down, 18 to go

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** *cough* narcissist *cough*

 

 **iamwhatiam:** hey i was birthed into the world on this day, and I am the greatest gift mankind has recieved

 

 **gyeommie:** electricity

 

 **cup of tae:** running water

 

 **minikitkat:** fire (but happy birthday!!!!)

 

 **cube of suga:** neck pillows

 

 **mama jin:** dad jokes

 

 **woopwoop:** bread

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** almost every advancement that has been made

 

 **jooniper:** toothbrushes! and toothpaste!

 

 **markle the sharkle:** modern medicine

 

 **iamwhatiam:** um i feel very attacked rn. and 17 of you still have to wish me happy birthday

 

 **chimchim:** aw happy birthday changkyun!

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 16

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** ugh fine happy birthday you little monster

 

 **iamwhatiam:** um offense??? but 15

 

 **jooniper:** why are you keeping track? (happy bday)

 

 **iamwhatiam:** reasons (14)

 

_markle the sharkle has changed the chat's name to [happy bday, are you satisfied?]!_

 

 **iamwhatiam:** extremely

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 13

 

 **joohoney:** alright fine, happy birthday baby <3

 

 **iamwhatiam:** <3333333333

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 12

 

 **woopwoop:** happy birthday, illegitimate son

 

 **iamwhatiam:** thank you papi

 

 **wonton94:** ew

 

 **puppywang:** happy birthday changkyun!!!! seems like just yesterday you were a child

 

 **iamwhatiam:** uh you never knew me as a child? 

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 10

 

 **baby otter:** ahhh sorry i'm late we just woke up

 

 **baby otter:** happy birthday changkyun!!!! :P

 

 **iamwhatiam:** QWQ thx youngjae

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 9

 

 **jjp pt1:** happy birthday from me and jaebum. his phone is dead so its charging

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 7

 

 **bunbun:** happy bday kiddo!!

 

 **iamwhatiam:** owo 6

 

 **your hope:** lil late as well but happy birthday changkyung  
  


**mamajin:** ^^^

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 4

 

 **wonton94:** wait you count this ^^???????

 

 **iamwhatiam:** yeah but you never tried so-

 

_wonton94 has changed their name to happy birthday demon!_

 

 **happy birthday demon:** does this count?

 

 **iamwhatiam:** sure

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 3

 

 **jooniper:** who's left??

 

 **gyeommie:**  whoops happy birthday

 

 **iamwhatiam:** okay 2

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** alright fine i'll give in to peer pressure.

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** happy birthday, problematic parasite

 

 **iamwhatiam:** oof but i'll take it. which leaves just one.

 

 **iamwhatiam:** y'all know who it is

 

 **cube of suga:** that'd be me

 

 **iamwhatiam:** yes

 

 **cube of suga:** alright hpy bday

 

 **iamwhatiam:** yay that's all 20 of you!

 

 **iamwhatiam:** alright here we go

 

_iamwhatiam has changed the chat's name to [20 reasons why i love y'all]_

 

 **iamwhatiam:** 1, y'all take care of me <3

2, y'all put up w/ whatever shit i managed to do XD

3, there's always someone willing to listen to me

4, even if it's minhyuk or jackson

5, ur funny af 

6, never a dull moment here

7, some of you have dogs/cats/pets that i can visit whenever i want to

8, i got to help name jin's sugar gliders

9, you all came to the funeral i held for the fly that died in my dorm room

10, the 42 squad

11, big brain time :P

12, that one time we got to dunk wonho in a freezing lake

13, that one time i got to smash mark's face with a pie

14, the fact that only four of us actually know how to do math

15, our bad grammar is pretty much nerever overlooked

16, we all have our own thing to contribute to this friendship

17, none of us really know why we're here besides mark and jackson actually

18, that one time we all became characters from romeo and juliet

19, the fact that i have been asked by two people for ideas on how to propose to the person they're dating even tho i wont say who

and 20, y'all made my birthday feel special even though i was attacked several times

 

 **woopwoop:** i- i'm speechless

 

 **kookie monster:** aww that's super sweet

 

 **not_a_real_hamster:** *never

 

 **minikitkat:** <3333 i'll try not to take offense 

 

 **puppywang:** ^^^ <333

 

 **jooniper:** thats really cute!!

 

 **joohoney:** baby <3

 

 **markle the sharkle:** aw you sap

 

 **jjp pt2:** now that my phone is charged and i've read all that, happy birthday, and thank you.

 

 **iamwhatiam:** uwu

 

 **chimchim:** quintuple cursed

 

 **bunbun:** wow such a throwback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all i watched a performance of mama mia last night and i cant get super trouper out of my frcking head
> 
> and i played dnd for like over 6 hours it was great


	26. valentine's day is for people with hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _chimchim has changed markle the sharkle's name to lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes!_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>    
>  **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** yes pls
> 
>  
> 
> _chimchim has changed puppywang's name to bother mark until he pays jackson attention!_
> 
>  
> 
>  **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** no pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't edited this for mistakes, so i apologize. to be fair though, in text fics, there's a plethora of grammatical errors lol

_chimchim has created a chat!_

 

_chimchim has named the chat [sappy folk home]!_

 

_chimchim has added markle the sharkle, puppywang, jooniper, gyeomie, bammie, wonton94, joohoney, your hope, bunbun, jjp pt1, jjp pt2, baby otter, minikitkat, kookie monster, not_a_real_hamster, woopwoop, iamwhatiam, cube of suga, cup of tae, and mama jin!_

 

 

 **kookie monster:** why did you make an entirely different chat???

 

 **chimchim:** because i'm admin here and i knew no one would let me change their names if i didnt make a new chat :D

 

 **cube of suga:** that scares me just a ltitle

 

 **chimchim:** anyways, i'm going to guess what you are all planning on doing this valentine's day, whether or not it actually happens!

 

 

_chimchim has changed markle the sharkle's name to lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes!_

 

 

 **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** yes pls

 

 

_chimchim has changed puppywang's name to bother mark until he pays jackson attention!_

 

 

 **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** no pls

 

 **bother mark until he pays jackson attention:** YES

 

 

_chimchim has changed jooniper's name to read romance novels in the quiet comfort of a small cafe!_

 

 

 **kookie monster:** still a better love story than twilight

 

 **read romance novels in the quiet comfort of a small cafe:** idk i kinda liked twilight

 

 **gyeommie:** traitor

 

 

_chimchim has changed gyeommie's name eat sadness away!_

 

 

 **eat sadness away:** no differnt from last year TWT

 

 

_chimchim has changed bammie's name to remind yugyeom that he's not single anymore!_

 

 

 **eat sadness away:** its that kinda gay

 

 **remind yugyeom that he's not single anymore:** yes, yes it is

 

 

_chimchim has changed wonton94's name to stare at himself in the mirror!_

 

 

 **stare at himself in the mirror:** i am lovely

 

 

_chimchim has changed joohoney's name to eat dinner w/ kyun!_

 

 

 **mamajin:** now that's actually romantic!!

 

 **read romance novels in the quiet comfort of a small cafe:** mine is romantic too

 

 

_chimchim has changed your hope's name to make valentine's cards for everyone!_

 

 

 **make valentine's cards for everyone:** am i that predictable DX

 

 **cube of suga:** no, he can just see you from across the room

 

 

_chimchim has changed bunbun's name to bother hyungwon!_

 

 

 **bother hyungwon:** tru tru

 

 **stare at himself in the mirror:** as long as you don't interupt my self loving session i dont mind

 

 

_chimchim has changed jjp pt1's name to locking himself away so he doesn't have to deal w/ imbeciles!_

 

 

 **locking himself away so he doesn't have to deal w/ imbeciles:** god i wish

 

 

_chimchim has changed jjp pt2's name to play w/ nora!_

 

 

 **play w/ nora:** i do this every day, so it doesnt make a difference

 

 

_chimchim has changed baby otter's name to playing w/ coco!_

 

 

 **playing w/ coco:** i only get to do this every other day DX

 

 **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** aw tru

 

 

_chimchim has changed minikitkat's name to bother hyungwon w/ wonho!  
_

 

 

 **bother hyungwon w/ wonho:** this is my everyday life

 

 

_chimchim has changed kookie monster's name to recreating gay vines w/ taehyung!_

 

 

 _chimchim has changed not_a_real_hamster's name to st_ _and on balcony and watch couples go buy as he looks at them disdainfully!_

 

 

 **woopwoop:** i'll say it for him: why is that so long?

 

 **chimchim:** bc i don't know how to condense it

 

 **woopwoop:** he told me to give you a thumbs up. hes on the balcony

 

 

_chimchim has changed woopwoop's name to bread!_

 

 

 **eat sadness away:** why just bread?

 

 **iamwhatiam:** no no, it's correct

 

 **bother hyungwon w/ wonho:** its iconik

 

 

_chimchim has changed iamwhatiam's name to eat dinner w/ joo!_

 

 

 **eat dinner w/ joo:** lol we already made plans last week

 

 **mamajin:** why are they more romantic than basically every other couple here??

 

 **bread:** kihyun told me to tell you "who knows". he also said that he's doing everyone a favor by not replying

 

 

_chimchim has changed cube of suga's name to sleep!_

 

 

 **sleep:** yeah as usual

 

 

_chimchim has changed cup of tae's name to recreating gay vines w/ jungkook!_

 

 

 **recreating gay vines w/ jungkook:** happy 1 year, babe!

 

 **recreate gay vine w/ taehyung:** *weird/confused smile* i'm 27

 

 

_chimchim has changed mamajin's name to force namjoon to go shopping!_

 

 

 **force namjoon to go shopping:** he did promise me

 

 **chimchim:** mistake on for both parties involved

 

 

_chimchim has changed their name to expose your hidden agendas!_

 

 

 **recreate gay vines w/ taehyung:** you do this all the time tho

 

_**_____________________________BONUS_______________________________** _

 

 **force namjoon to go shopping:** yeah you were right

 

 **expose your hidden agendas:** told ya

 

 **eat dinner w/ joo:** lolol me and joo are helping hyunwoo hyung bake some bread

 

 **woopwoop:** *watching kihyun insult couples on the street

 

 **bother mark until he pays jackson attention:** its the third rerun of le mes and i think im gonna die

 

 **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** you didn't have to stay

 

 **bother mark until he pays jackson attention:** uh 1, its valentines day! 2, we're BOYFRIENDS

 

 **bother mark until he pays jackson attention:** or did you forget :C

 

 **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** sorry i cant hear you over the sound of talent

 

 **bother mark until he pays jackson attention:** hardly...

 

 

_bother mark until he pays jackson attention has deleted their message 'hardly...'!_

 

 

 **lay on the couch and sip tea while watching Le Mes:** DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE THAT!

 

 **bother mark until he pays jackson attention:** tIME TO STEAL THE HOUSEPLANTS

 

 **stare at himself in the mirror:** wtf

 

 **tare at himself in the mirror:** also 

 

 

_stare at himself in the mirror has changed his name to wonton is not wanton!_

 

 

 **bother hyungwon:** but wonton, you are wanton ;)

 

**eat dinner w/ joo:**

 

 **playing w/ coco:** i love you guys but i also hate you guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i realized that "oh wait this is the official last chapter i guess i should say smth" so yeah. Thanks to everyone that's read this! and thanks to those who gave this kudos, bookmarked it, commented, etc.! this was fun and i'm glad that i was able to create it XD


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